A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I met this asian guy...we were going out...dinner, dancing, movies..etc...he is younger almost 10 years...I realized..too late he only wants sex. Thats all. And I want more company...friendship.I told him we are looking for different things and is better if we just dont talk/see each other anymore cuz I am not feeling good about it.He said to me that I am soo complicated and I just need to relax and enjoy the moment..I am upset cuz I am old enough to understand that but I am very alone here I dont have family/relatives, they live overseas and my friends are really busy ...I would like to be strong enough and let him go but anytime he wants to see me I always say yes And I know thats wrong. I am feeling I am loosing my selfsteem cuz the lonely...I dont really know what to do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): Any time someone tries to use you this way just tell them no thank you. There is nothing more "alone" than to be with someone who doesn't really care about you and who is just using you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): Thanks a lot auntyhem...u r so right...notdonyet ..perhapsnot and krishot2011...thanks for the comments. I REALLY APRECIATTE
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (29 January 2012):
 I have to comment because I have been in a similar situation with a younger guy and it has been going on for over 3 years (known him over 5 years).
I have been having sex with this man on and off for a very long time. I have bent over backwards to please him and show him how much I love and care for him but he has never expressed a wish to have me as his girlfriend. I cannot express how destroyed I feel inside. It has made me feel like an insignificant bit of dirt, it has made me doubt myself and grossly distrust other men.
Even now when I think about him, I retain some shred of hope that he will want me but it is completely and utterly a lie that I tell myself so I do not drop into an abyss of loneliness.
I am literally hanging by a thread and he does not care at all. He is going to Las Vegas in march and I heard he is going to rekindle a relationship with an american girl he had an affair with over two years ago (while he was sleeping with me)
Still I have struggled to break away. Social networking like facebook and Twitter are a curse because they entice you to look and then you discover things you were never meant to see, things that you cannot resist because your heart yearns for something you love and do not want to lose.
It is indeed pathetic but anyone can succumb to such a thing.
I do not know what else to say to you, other than to try and face your fear as I have done. I have made the decision to break free and I know he will not even notice. I think that is what hurts most of all, that I gave so much and in the end I got nothing in return.
I still believe that life holds surprises but I also know that when something is truly dead, you must face up to that fact and bury it for good.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (29 January 2012):
 "I am feeling I am loosing my selfsteem cuz the lonely...I dont really know what to do."
Wrong. You do know what to do. I mean, you said it right here: "I told him we are looking for different things and is better if we just dont talk/see each other anymore cuz I am not feeling good about it." You know exactly what you need to do, but you won't. "I would like to be strong enough and let him go" - THEN DO IT. If you don't, you have no right to complain about it. You're allowing him use you sexually and until YOU end it, you will continue to feel shitty about yourself. There is no magical advice here. You're alone in a country, you're feeling lonely and your desperation has landed you in shitty company.
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A
male
reader, krishot2011  +, writes (29 January 2012):
i know it is easy to say and difficult to do, but dont lose ur self esteem for sex. God may give u another boy to love u and give company.
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