A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,My partner and I have been dating for just under 2 years now. When we first met, he was loving, attentive, told me I was the woman of his dreams and lit up whenever he saw me. he did all he could to make me happy. I know that this is part of the 'in love' stage that all relationships go through, but I feel now that as well as those things not being there, something else has shifted for us - and I feel like I'm to blame. Although he still does little things for me and tries to make me happy, I feel a distance from him and don't feel like I'm the light in his eyes that I used to be.When we first met, I played it quite cool and sassy. But the more I fell for him, the more of my insecure feelings arose, making me clingy at times (which he hated) and had me react strongly (and sullen) to the number of women he has slept with (when he was my first). Although I learnt quickly to not cling when he pulled back (well, it took me quite a few months to learn) and stopped asking questions about his past, I feel like these things and my reactions have pushed him away from me emotionally. Like he views me differently somehow.... no longer the sassy, fun-loving girl he fell for, but a needy freak! Is it possible for me to undo the damage????To re-ignite what we had??Should I apologise for my wrongs of the past? Not for my feelings, but for the way I expressed them.Any thoughts would be much appreciated!!
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): It's the same way for me. Before we started dating, my boyfriend was after me for months. He seemed a lot like my ex before we got together (needy, clingy, overly-emotional, etc.) which was something I couldn't stand. But then once we started dating, the roles were completely reversed. I became needy, and clingy, and paranoid over everything. It's weird. I'm kind of a control freak, and so when I lost control of being in control of my emotions, it sucked. I honestly don't know what to tell you, considering I still haven't won this battle myself. All I can say is, good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 February 2010):
You haven't done anything wrong, so don't' apologize. He even still does little things for you that shows he loves you. Speak to him about it. Tell him that you're a little worried he's pulling away and you want to re-ignite the relationship. Nothing will happen unless you tell him how you feel. So tell him.
...............................
A
female
reader, chick989 +, writes (4 February 2010):
sounds like my boyfriend and i - at the start he was the 'clingy one' and and a year down the line it was reversed, he was the one playing it cool.
from my experience it changed because of other strains - people have a problem with our relationships which led to arguments.
he doesn't trust me and says he doesn't feel like being romantic becausewe argue a lot.
do you and your boyf argue?
when my boyf and i don't argue he is like the man i met in the first place
x
...............................
|
