A
female
age
36-40,
*ini
writes:i was in a relationship for last one and half years. before that i was very practical about my life and family. but all gone vain when i met the guy. he had everything i dreamt of. for his family and my family i had to marry another person,two months back,who a very simple and kind person. i often compared him with my ex. i know this is wrong,but cud not help.i dont have a normal daily or sex life. everyday i have to fight with myself. what to do? use to keep busy myself,but nothing help.
View related questions:
my ex, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aini +, writes (15 February 2010):
aini is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all.
at the time of marriage,my situation was get married or leave the family.as i wrote i was very practical ,so i thought i could come over him(ex).after marriage, me and my husband used to go out movies,shopping..but again the 1st thing i cudnt love my husband.i felt guilty as my husband and his family are very nice.i told him about my past and he asked me to move on.
i loved ,not for his appreance but the way he was. now whenever me and my husband talk,i feel one IF...
i am not in contact with my ex though i have all his contacts.
Should i separate form my husband?
A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Your problem is very complicated, because it is separation of love and sex, which will lead duality, a inner war. Say sex is universal, but to bring it to our experience, we have to bring it down to particular individual level, and begin to work with that chosen Individual. Where as your mind has make them separate. You are honest in your feeling, so you are feeling pain. The best advise under circumstances is to discuss the subject of sex with your husband. The subject of discussion should be " how to make our life colorful? " First listen your husband's view, and try to correct it.
However, there are problem related to matching chemistry also, if it is unmatched with your husband then discussion will not help. Anyhow and anyway, you yourself have to find out solution because it is impossible to love and live two life. It is possible to have sex with many...but here your problem is problem of love, which is more complicated than sex. Love is the payment, good sex demand. fake love can ruin real sex pleasure also. Sex is always real, which is metaphysical fact, but because love is human creation so we need to decide whether it is true?
...............................
|
