A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am cheating on my girl friend and i am feeling really bad about it.My other girl friend broke up with her guy for me and she is in love with me as well.And just to make her feel better,i ended up saying that she is the one for me and because of this i am in big trouble because she feels that ill be leaving my present girl friend for her which i don't intend to.I really don't know what to do at this point...
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Stop playing with both of these girls and make a decision. You're currently cheating on your girlfriend but you feel so bad about it? Then make a decision. I wouldn't want to be either one of these girls, I would be so pissed.
You got yourself into this mess, now you have to get yourself out.
Either tell them both what you have been doing and see who wants to stay with you or dump your other girlfriend since you have no intention of leaving your original gf for the other one and move on with your life.
You're being selfish.
A
female
reader, loveistheanswer +, writes (8 December 2010):
 I would hate to be either one of these girls, but most of all I would hate to be you. You're hurting hearts big time. Is this the person you want to be? Either make good on your promise to this new girl to be with her, or else come clean to both about your feelings and deeds... Those are your only "honest" choices right now, if "honest" is even the right word....
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A
female
reader, littlespoon +, writes (8 December 2010):
 I agree that you are playing both these girls. Maybe you're not ready for a real relationship if you like messing around with multiple people. You shouldn't hurt your current girlfriend anymore. If you really want to be with her you will drop this new girl tell her the truth say in good time you hope to be friends. I realized the best way to keep friends or at least feel like you weren't so in the wrong is to just be honest. Being honest may help you in the future to mend a relationship and stay friends. If what you have with your girlfriend is real she'll be upset and will forgive you but won't trust you as much anymore until you earn that trust back. If the sex or communication is what you were after from the other girl maybe you could explain this to your current girlfriend to let her know you have needs that have not been fulfilled (haven't had sex in awhile, or she doesn't take much initiative, she isn't showing you the affection she once did, etc) and this might help boost your sex life so you won't have to stray. In the future before you decide to cheat you should always express your feelings and I think most relationships where people cheat is because of poor communication. If you are not honest like others have said you may be figured out by your current girlfriend or this new girl when she realizes you're not leaving your girlfriend. The truth is you really can't have your cake and eat it too. Either neither of these women are right for you, you're not right for them, or you'll work out something with one of them. The one thing you should do is be sensitive to both of their feelings. Both of these women care about you. So don't go dissing one and being an ass. Be honest to both, share your true feelings, and tell them you're sorry and it was never your intention to hurt them(if this true of course) Don't be surprised if your girlfriend won't forgive you. (I wouldn't forgive my boyfriend if he slept with someone else) Learn from your mistakes and realize if you are tempted to stray how can I make my relationship work? Do I want to be with this person? Can the things that bother you be fixed? Or should I play the field enjoy the single life? Or maybe you're just not the relationship type. Just don't let this go on any longer. The longer you wait, the harder it will be, and the more pissed off these girls will be for leading them on or hurting them.
-littlespoon
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A
female
reader, littlespoon +, writes (8 December 2010):
I agree that you are playing both these girls. Maybe you're not ready for a real relationship if you like messing around with multiple people. You shouldn't hurt your current girlfriend anymore. If you really want to be with her you will drop this new girl tell her the truth say in good time you hope to be friends. I realized the best way to keep friends or at least feel like you weren't so in the wrong is to just be honest. Being honest may help you in the future to mend a relationship and stay friends. If what you have with your girlfriend is real she'll be upset and will forgive you but won't trust you as much anymore until you earn that trust back. If the sex or communication is what you were after from the other girl maybe you could explain this to your current girlfriend to let her know you have needs that have not been fulfilled (haven't had sex in awhile, or she doesn't take much initiative, she isn't showing you the affection she once did, etc) and this might help boost your sex life so you won't have to stray. In the future before you decide to cheat you should always express your feelings and I think most relationships where people cheat is because of poor communication. If you are not honest like others have said you may be figured out by your current girlfriend or this new girl when she realizes you're not leaving your girlfriend. The truth is you really can't have your cake and eat it too. Either neither of these women are right for you, you're not right for them, or you'll work out something with one of them. The one thing you should do is be sensitive to both of their feelings. Both of these women care about you. So don't go dissing one and being an ass. Be honest to both, share your true feelings, and tell them you're sorry and it was never your intention to hurt them(if this true of course) Don't be surprised if your girlfriend won't forgive you. (I wouldn't forgive my boyfriend if he slept with someone else) Learn from your mistakes and realize if you are tempted to stray how can I make my relationship work? Do I want to be with this person? Can the things that bother you be fixed? Or should I play the field enjoy the single life? Or maybe you're just not the relationship type. Just don't let this go on any longer. The longer you wait, the harder it will be, and the more pissed off these girls will be for leading them on or hurting them.
-littlespoon
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (8 December 2010):
The other comments sum it up. Confess and get it off your chest. Even if you stopped seeing the "other girl," and devoted yourself entirely to your girlfriend, she'd find out eventually.
Do the right thing man.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Do the right thing, go forth, and sin no more.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (8 December 2010):
 The fact that you're on here says you know you're not doing right by either girl. How do you really expect this to turn out? Eventually the ladies are going to find out about each other, secrets don't stay secrets. Ok, you need to man up, and stop seeing both girls. Its not fair to them! You know this. If you were truly honest, you'd tell both girls and let them decide. If you're lucky, your 1st girlfriend will forgive you. I have been in a situation just like this when I was younger....My boyfriend was dating both me, and his ex girlfriend, she thought we were broken up, but we weren't. I found out, went to his ex (who turned out to be quite a nice girl), and we went to his work unexpectedly one night...the look on his face when he seen us together was PRICELESS....we waited till his break, walked out to his car with him and BOTH of us broke up with him. You get the picture??? He deserved it! Man up, confess, and let the cards fall where they may before these girls find out about you and tell you to hit the road. I wish you luck, you've gotten yourself into quite a mess. Someone is going to get hurt, and neither one of those girls really deserve that, although the 2nd girl at least knows about your girlfriend and doesn't deserve too much sympathy.
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