A
male
age
30-35,
*aptainh
writes:I know that I am a friendly, caring, conifedent person. That's something that I've started to see for myself recently and a lot of other people have told me that, it's been a continuing trend. But what I don't understand is that people always seem to see me as that nice kid, as though I'm the last resort; people are nice to me and still talk to me but, I just feel as though I'm excluded from a lot of things and this is something I don't deserve. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (20 August 2011):
Find new friends.
Also, is anyone making any comments to you that "everyone" feels this way about you? Watch out for that one person.
A
female
reader, jellybeans20009 +, writes (20 August 2011):
You're still in high school and high school can be filled with a lot of groups and clicks. Usually, people at school can be very protective of who they let in to their circle. To ease your anxiety, I can tell you that once you all grow a little older and mature that isn't the case anymore. I would blame it all on how young the people you're trying to get along with really are. But in any case, trying to find a stable group to fit into is comparable to getting initiated into a gang, at least that's how i felt when I was in high school. You have to prove something to them and then maintain your loyalty. There can be leaders and followers in the group, depending on which social circle we're talking about.All in all, my advice would be to stay away from trying to fit in too much. If they're not inviting you back, that probably means the people in that group are not a good fit for you, or they're too involved in trying to fit in to reach out. Instead, be who you are and do what makes you feel comfortable. Go hang out with a lot of people and when you find those good people who you feel can be legitimate buddies with you, hang out with them more and more. You be the one to initiate the plans. You test the waters with them. You need to dig deeper than just the surface to make long lasting friends too, so instead of looking for shallow relationships look for meaningful ones. It'll come in handy later on in your life. Sometimes you meet the friends you'll know for the rest of your life in high school or college. Remember that when you choose who you want to associate yourself with next time. Good luck, stay positive, and keep testing the waters.
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