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male
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anonymous
writes: I feel despondent as nothing ever goes my way. I want to leave home, I'm 23,not allowed to move out. I want to go overseas my parents are blackmailing me emotionally. I hate my job, and I hate my life, and when i talk with them they don't understand as they only want to keep me at home. I hate it. people my age are living on their own, away from family enjoying their lives traveling and they have their parents support and blessings. and I get made to feel guilty.I HATE IT, I WANNA LEAVE SO badly.What can i do, as i cant even think properly.They are making every little thing a problem, and convincing me not to go, that somehow ill get hurt or killed.any advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (20 March 2006):
 Your parents are not responsible of you anymore now that you are an adult. There's plenty of things you can do out there such as further studies, travelling, exploring new hobbies...
I think travelling will be great for you because you get to see the world you've never seen, experience new culture and open your eyes to endless possibilities of what you could do in your future. Save up money at the job, I now you hate it but if you have an aim it feels such easier to tolerate the job.
Try and see your friends as often as you can so you don't feel so trapped at home. Get ideas from your friends about what you could do. Maybe plan a holiday with them?
Don't free despondent because there are plenty of things you could do to free yourself from home.
Good luck!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 March 2006):
 Go anyway.
You're an adult. You'll be fine.
If they try to guilt you, smile sweetly and say "You raised me right. I'm smart and I know how to take care of myself. Thanks!"
Then go. No biggie. Sheesh.
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female
reader, vixsfix +, writes (19 March 2006):
 What exactly is it then that is stopping you? You have nothing to leave you here! Dnt be scared just do it. Try being a holiday rep for a season abroad, to see if u like the lifestyle of living abroad. Consider what it is that you want to do with your life, then remember that it is YOUR life and go and do something about it NOW! Once you have something in the pipe line explain to your family that this is what you're going to do and you'd appreciate their support, tell them that you love them and that just because ur going away doesn't mean that you are abandonning them! Now get out and live your life, you'll be amazed at how good you'll feel just by making the first step.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2006): I understand your frustration. Well,we know your parents love you but they are being overprotective. They both have an emotional bond to you that is preventing you from achieving your goals and aspirations. It obvious you don't agree with them but you respect them, which is why this pains you deeply. At 23, most men are on their own and gaining a foothold into an independent life and adulthood. The only way to do this unpleasant task is to take a deep breath, muster up some courage and just do it. Be prepared for a lot of objection over this. You have to realize that this is just who they are, you love them, so do this as graciously as possible. Remember, even parents are human and many have quirks and inconsistencies about them. I recommend you make plans to begin your new life. Have a very good plan, (place to live, a job and finances should be in place) Then calmly, lovingly but firmly talk to Mom and Dad and tell them, you are moving out on a pre-determined date. There will be some conflict, expect that. Give them time to think on this and accept it. But stick to your plan. In order for this to succeed, you will need to be strong and you need to develop a lovingly, polite detachment about any and all emotional black mail that could be heaped upon you. No matter what they throw at you...keep telling them you love them but you are doing this. Good luck, dear..it won't be easy but it will the best thing you can do for YOU. Take care
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