A
male
age
36-40,
*yperdd
writes:ive been with this girl for 7months and we have a baby on the way. she always told me she had slept wit two guys before me. i come to find out from somebody other than her last night it was four guys before me she denied it and out of nowhere she admited it. so now i feel messed up, like i feel i have been betrayed and lied to all this time. how should i feel? what should i do now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): I know how you feel something similar happened to me over the weekend, I know it is wrong for me to feel betrayed but I do. I am trying to get over it, I just hope a little time will do the trick. I guess the best advice is to not take it out on your partner, that is what I am trying to do although it is harder than you think. Good Luck.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 I'm curious, why do you feel upset? Because your pregnant girlfriend has told a little white lie about her past.
Remember one thing, a lot of guys are very judgmental about the girl they fall in love with's past ( I know its pathetic isnt it?? Isnt it???)and cannot look past that and dream of a future together. So its not surprising that a lot of girls down play the number of sexual partners they've had .
So in your case you are hung up on her getting the amount of boys she slep with wrong, and I can see why she didnt tell the truth, your reaction is proof of this!
Your girlfriend will be going through a very emotional time being heavily pregnant , she needs a supportive partner who loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, not a guy who is hung up on the past and feels the need to upset his pregnant girlfriend with things she can do nothing about.
Which one are you?
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A
male
reader, hyperdd +, writes (17 October 2007):
hyperdd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits deffinatly my child the guys were from a few years back. its mostly about the fact she couldnt tell me it was 4 not 2. i feel very betrayed almost like cheated on. so far answers have been wonderfull and thankyou so much.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 Is the paternity of the child in question is the main issue. The fact she lied to you probably makes you feel you can not trust her, and THAT is why you are making a big deal about it. Once the kid is born, have a DNA test done to prove it.
Assuming the child is yours, you have to consider that the reason she lied to you is that you gave her reason to beleive that you could not handle the truth. Do you act in a manner that indicates you can handle truth?
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): question - is the baby yours? i totally understand that you feel betrayed who wouldn't - i mean she lied to you... that's always the first act of betrayal - you need to just take some time to yourself and sort through your own feelings - everything will work out in the end - and by the way - prayer helps
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A
female
reader, Yogichickk +, writes (16 October 2007):
 because you are making such a bid deal now makes me believe you made as much fuss in the past. Talk about it in a loving manner, try not to hurt her now over your hurt feelings. She's pregnant, right? Pregnant women deserve a break.
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (16 October 2007):
 What happened was in the past before you ever got together! What has happened in the past should stay in the past and never brought into the present. Maybe your girlfriend thought if you knew it was 4 instead of two, you probably would think differently of her. She didn't cheat on you, so you don't need to feel betrayed.
You now need to think about that baby that you two are bringing into the world. That's what you should be thinking of!! Get over it and move forward.
God Bless you two!!!
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