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female
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*ixdj
writes: I need help!! I have been with my fiance for just over three years but believe me its not all been plain sailing...when he split up with his ex she was pregnant and claimed it was his, for the whole of the pregnancy she was on our case, I knew the baby could not possibly be his but noone else would listen. After months of hounding him to get her to do a dna test it was proven that the baby was not his, i thought then we could move on without her, by this point i was then 6 months pregnant. I found out when my son was 7 months old he was still in touch with the ex and was planning on leaving me for her. I moved out for three months and truly believed he had changed. When i moved back, he had a girl from work lodging with him which i was ok about but later found out that while we were together she was in love with him and something had happened between them. She moved out and again i believed he was truly sorry. Since then in the last year i found out he has been texting a couple of younger girls who he worked with. starting off as innocent texts but then becoming far too fruity for my liking. I confronted him about it and he assured me it would stop. Now i have major paranoia and think everytime his phone goes off its one of the girls or his ex. How do i know hes not up to anything?!?!?
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male
reader, yoyouyont +, writes (30 April 2006):
the fact he has two other women in his life suggests he is not very monogamous and the paranoia you feel is based upon this. a relationship without trust will not be good for your head. Even when the stakes are high you must think of your own mental wellbeing and trust your instincts.Good luck making your choice
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (29 April 2006):
 Quite frankly you will never really know if he's being faithfull to you or not as he has cheated in the past and managed to keep you in the dark....
The problem here is the lack of trust you have for him now, you say you parted for a while and now you're back together, and still he is texting other girls,he doesn't seem to have changed that much, or learnt from past experience!
His infidelity has caused you to become insecure and so now to protect yourself from being hurt again you are "on his case", sorry but once this happens in a relationship it takes time and a lot of commitment from the guilty party to put things right.
Give him some time and see how things go. Understandably you want and need to trust him, make it quite clear that any further infidelities will result in you leaving once again and for good, and mean it! If you should find he's still texting and seeing other girls I would dump him and find someone who can be trusted. If you keep giving your boyfriend chance after chance there's no way he's going to change, he has no need to, a few days begging your forgiveness and empty promises and you're back where you started. You have to draw the line somewhere!
I'm not saying you're wrong to forgive, but make this his last chance or you will end up wasting your life on someone who does not have enough respect for you to stay faithfull.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (29 April 2006):
 listen to your insticts as they are importnat to you and are like your friends. the only way to find out thweter he is a big cheater is to do some private detective work for your self and only that way you will know the answer. but if you beieve in your mind that he isa big cheater break of the engagement as its always pays to be sure about the person you are marrying.
hope thatr helps byeeee
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