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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for the past 26 years to one man, whom I adored. But I must admit I flirted with him back when I was 21 years of age. Needless to say I gained a flirtatious man! He ran around on with with many women through our entire marraige. After this last affair he had he told me that it was over that he was tired of hurting me! Well, needless to say I filed for divorce and now we are divorced. I am scared of making the same mistake as I did with him. For some reason (my girlfriends) tell me I am always flirting with every man I come in contact with. I think they are right. Some of the men, I just think I am being kind to and trust me, there is no way in the world I would EVER have a sexual desire to be with them. BUT WHY AM I FLIRTING! I hate myself for it. My girlfriends told me last night that I will end up in trouble and now I am so ashamed with myself. I have not been with any man since my husband, and (at least) I am not ready at this stage in my life to even enter into a relationship with another man. There is a lot of things I am trying to learn about myself yet. But I must say I do enjoy conversations with the oppisite sex! But nothing more! Please I am 48 and I feel like a fool! I want to know WHY I do this and how to fix it in me.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 April 2006):
 You're single, flirting is OK. The only problem is setting boundaries with those you flirt with. If a man is looking to hook up with somebody, he'll see flirting as an invitation to try harder. Rightfully so. Flirting is natures mechanism to get us to the next step with the opposite sex. If your not single, flirting is a way we make ourselves feel like we still are vibrant people, attractive to the opposite sex.
You have to carefully look into how far your flirting goes. You are not responsible for what the person receiving your flirting does but it is you who is giving him the perception that you might be interested. As natural as it is for you to flirt, it is as natural for him to receive the signal and move on it. We wired that way. When we're in a committed relationship, attrations,desires and flirting never go away, we just control them, as we should.
A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (30 April 2006):
 why are you scared of making the same mistake ? In life you learn from other peoples mistakes and from your own and then not to make the same mistake twice.
any way take care love ron
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