A
female
age
26-29,
*lice59
writes:This guy at school really fancys me but theres one problem. Hes a geek. I think i might fancy him aswell but it would be social sucide going out with him! He's asked me out loads and i keep saying no. I know your just going to be like well if you fancy him then go out with him but its not that simple! Can you help me out on what to do I'm so confused! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 October 2009):
If you're embarassed by him, then he's not for you and you're not ready for a relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): Go with the geek and dump the so called friends.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (18 October 2009):
 I know how difficult it is to go against the flow of social opinion, especially in the hugely intense social atmosphere in highschool. Celtic tiger is right, but shes wrong to judge you as a sheep - in high school everybody feels as though their every action is being judged, because it usually is, and being outside of the social sphere can be unbearable and you do have to put up with it for the years that youre there.
That being said, I think you should absolutely say yes to this guy the next time he asks you out - presuming you havent rejected him so much that his confidence is so destroyed that he wouldnt dare ask again. At the end of the day, high school is fleeting. Everything about the trends and fads of high school is momentary - thats why one person can be at the height of popularity one second, and bottom of the social ladder the next. People will get used to you and your 'geek' being together, and you could leave highschool with a relationship which has made you happy and could even last.
It should also be considered that geeky guys often make the nicest boyfriends - he's likely to be considerate and care about conversation, and want to make you feel special.
Good luck with whatever you choose, and feel free to PM me if you want to talk the situation out at all :)
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A
male
reader, Beamer32  +, writes (18 October 2009):
 Really...come on you "fancy" the guy but keep saying no because you're afraid of your social life? I was the geek in high school, I had the same girlfriend throughout all of high school, now she wasn't the most popular but that makes no difference. If you like the guy then grow up! Social suicide is a load of bull and an excuse you are coming up with to not take a chance. I know most people don't imagine getting together with a geek but are you too cowardly to even try? You may find out he's a great guy. It's the thought of social suicide that has ruined many perfect couples because one of them was two stupid to think for themselves instead of letting your heart do the talking.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (18 October 2009):
 "Social suicide"? Are you kidding? Didn't you know frogs grow into princes.Just look at Bill Gates.Don't let your fellow school mates (animals that they are) tell you who to date or imply that you must avoid at all costs, boys who interest you.Treating nice people or geeks like rejects only breeds their contempt for people who fail to rise above their own prejudices.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (18 October 2009):
 Are you a lemming? Or a sheep? If the "social crowd" asked you to jump of a cliff would you? If the cool people said "go hit that old lady or we will cut you out of our gang" would you? GROW UP.
So what if other people think he is a geek. If you like him, then it is their problem. If they have an issue with it, then they are all stuck up, ignorant idiots. This guy is probably nicer, more caring, and far more friendly than any of the people who you seem so concerned about. I know who I would rather have as a friend, and I know which one would be a damn sight more loyal to me as a friend. The "in" crowds are not your friend. The will not be there for you. They do not care about you. They only care about themselves and their reputations. They tolerate people as long as they tow the line. IF you stop doing what they say you are deemed "uncool" "unpopular"... what a load of total rubbish.
Stop being led. Have your OWN thoughts and your own beliefs. BECOME AN INDIVIDUAL. Act like an adult and stop listening to these shallow, spoilt, bitchy, nasty and spiteful children.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): Personally I really dig 'geeks'. I realize that during this school phase of your life it can be challenging to make decisions with all of the peer pressure that surrounds you. As someone that has moved beyond that phase and had a little taste of what life has to offer I would say be true to yourself and listen to the part of you that says you might fancy him...live life outside of the box; who gives a shit about what others think as long as you are not hurting another. What are you waiting for? Go for it!
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