A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was in a long term relationship with a guy for almost 15 months, during the relationships there were ups and downs, i believe i was always treated second best to everything else in his life. and i was treated terribily, loads of times i cryed myself to sleep because of him and the mind games he played where awful, although he says i was to blame aswell...which is fair enough but i didnt deserve the crap he put me through. i gave chance after chance and he always said hed change but never did. then one afternoon my friend rang me saying doesnt that not look alot like your bf and she sent me the link. he was on a dating site and had sent her an email saying who he was and if she want to chat and all, not knowing that it was her because she had no photo up.my heart dropped...i always trusted him...through everything...i never once doubted him, that was one thing we had. so i rang him...and he denied it but hanging up, then within 5 mins the profile was deleted. and he says it wasnt him. its strange how the profile can be deleted so quick yet it wasnt him. so that was the day...i finally told him it was over that was a month ago, i then changed my number because he kept beging for me to give him a chance and loads of times hes send me emails saying just let me talk and when i do let him...all he does is mess my head up and hurt me by playing more games and hanging up. so for the last week i havent let him talk to me, i havent texted rang or emailed him back. hes sent me emails declaring his undieing love for me, telling my basically everything i want to hear and have wanted to hear for a year. although part of me still loves him and misses him everyday, i know if we got back it would just be the same in a short time and both of us would hurt each other again. even though ive finally stopped contact i still check my emails everyday and i still cant bring myself to destroy that sim because i turn it on and check if hes rang. even though i know it will never change, and i cant go back...i cant let go...i cant stop doing 1471 and seeing if hes called...or i cant block his emails...why?? how can i sort my head out? i am in bits..thanks for listening
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female
reader, lola16182  +, writes (19 November 2009):
A guy that lies to you, is on dating profiles while you guys are together, and treats you like crap does not deserve you.It will probably just take time for you to stop thinking about him and be wondering what he's doing. The no-contact thing is a good start, if u dont see him or talk to him, its less likely for all those feelings to come flying back all the time.make a list of all the things u dont like about him, things he did, said etc. and everytime you feel weak and want to call or see him read it over and remember all the horrible things he has done and why he doesnt deserve somebody like you
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 November 2009):
It will take time for you to be able to let him go, but it can be done if you're strong enough. You have to make sure you're seeing other people, staying busy with work or college, and you have to delete his contacts. The longer you don't the longer you will not be able to get over him. You now need to focus on your own life. Remember, he hurt you. That's why you need to get over him. Take your time, make sure all those contacts are deleted so you CAN'T phone him, and when you're ready, you'll find someone who does love you.
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