A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I'm hoping someone can help me with this.I broke up with my bf of 3yrs. last week. I just got so tired of his behaviour, he is 26 but has hissy fits like a 2yr. old when things don't go his way, he does "baby-talk", he thinks its funny to continuously poke, pinch and tickle meeven after I tell him to stop repeatedly. He is so immature it's not funny. He would call me fat and mentally incompetent. He tried to change but after 5months it was coming back. He says he does this behaviour to "get back at me" because I dont really have much of a sex drive anymore (well really when someone acts like its not a turnon!).The minute we started fighting he would start going out and meeting girls, then ask them out for dinner, coffee etc. When I found the messages he tried to tell me he "wouldnt actually go out with them, I just needed a confidence boost to make sure I'm not the horrible guy u make me out to be".I tried to ignore it but last week after fighting he went out with his friends. The next day he had 6 new female friends on facebook, and announced he was "single". I asked him why and he was like since we are taking a break i am updating things. I asked him if it had anything to do with the new friends online, he said no, that they had all added him. I said are u sure? He said yes. He is so stupid he gave me his password to facebook months ago, so I went to find out for myself. I found that HE had added all of them (not a huge deal, but he still LIED about it), and he was messaging the one saying "Sorry i had to creep u on here but i was disappointed we couldnt talk more the other night". He doesnt kno I know, and he wont admit to it either.Basically I am so hurt that he is lying to me, and if he can lie about this stuff he can lie about other stuff. He is trying to guilt trip me now into getting back with him. I am being strong right now but I hate being alone. He has been my only boyfriend. He is trying to threaten me with "well im going to go out and find a new gf" --I dont want to get back together with him but I'm at the point where it would really hurt to see him with someone else.Basically, my questions are...how can I not fall for his guilt trips, how can I make it so that I'm not bothered when he gets a new gf, and how can I keep myself convinced that I deserve better than this, and that he really is a horrible person and liar?
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a break, broke up, confidence, facebook, get back together, immature, liar, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 Well, he certainly doesn't sound like much of a catch to me! You did the right thing in breaking things off. You deserve so much better than him.
If you re-read what you've written here, the very idea of going back out with him should be abhorrent to you! Why put yourself through all this again?! Personally I feel sorry for his next girlfriend.
He sounds way too immature to settle with any one girl.
He has been your only boyfriend you say, but wouldn't you rather be single than be poked, prodded, put down and made to feel worthless?
Besides, I'm betting that you'll meet a really nice guy soon, which you couldn't pursue if you were still dating your deadbeat ex! Just be yourself, change yourself for no man! Or anyone!
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