A
male
age
30-35,
*riim
writes:A few years ago I fell in love with a girl for the first time. She never reciprocated any feelings that I had for her and we were never in any sort of relationship. I haven't spoken to her for the best part of a year, see her as rarely as possible and never respond to any sort of communication she tries to make. Why then, do I feel almost no different now than I did when I first saw her? Every time I accidentally stumble across some memory of her or a friend mentions her in conversation I still feel very upset and anxious. Is it possible to completely recover from your first love to the point that you feel absolutely no attachment to them whatsoever? I know that when I met her I was much to willing to develop feelings for her before I had any guarantee that she felt the same. These days I am much more guarded and careful when I meet new girls which is a little saddening - I can't help but think this feeling will never be duplicated which despite all the heart-wrenching agony, would have been very worth it if I could have convinced her. Is it possible to fall in love as deeply with somebody else ever again?Thank you for reading my question.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): I really liked a lad to the point of thinking I loved him. The feelings weren't returned and he fell for one of my friends. That hurt. I didn't speak to him often, but everytime I did, I got 'those feelings' again, which hurt. I now haven't spoken to him for ages, and have met someone else who I have started to like. I now feel that when I speak to the other guy again that I will be okay, I've started to move on, and that's good for me. So to answer your question, some people never get over their first love, and others do. It all depends on the person you are and how much your actually willing to let go. Who knows. One day something could happen between you two... never give up hope, but also never keep hanging around to the point that it scares her and you stop living your life. Hope this helps xxxx
A
male
reader, SV  +, writes (19 November 2009):
Yes it's completely possible and this sounds like just a crush. You just need to do something to occupy your mind that way you're not too hung up on her. Also go out there and you'll be surprised just how many girls are looking for relationships
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): You are nursing your feelings. You should not avoid things that remind you of her. Create new memories not associated with her and the old ones will lose their emotional force. You won't forget her, but you won't love her anymore.
She occupied the whole of your heart. When she fled, she left it bare. You need only refurnish it.
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