A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If you dump a man who has just been using you, does the man feel any hurt or will he just be relieved if he never loved you in the first place? I have been seeing this man on and off for about 6 months but he never loved me and was still seeing his ex so now I feel very low because I have had to end it and I don't want anyone else!
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female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (5 April 2009):
 He used you, and you feel hurt and betrayed. That's perfectly normal but you have to get over him quick. It's good that you broke it off coz you don't deserve that - you deserve better.
Focus on other things, don't waste anymore time thinking about him. Stop analyzing and trying to figure out if he's hurt coz it doesn't matter. Move on, good luck.
A
female
reader, AgonyAnna +, writes (5 April 2009):
It depends whether this guy has a conscience or not. Maybe you've made him see the error of his ways and he feels bad that he used you like that. But even if he does feel bad, this unfortunately doesn't neccessarily mean that his feelings for you have turned into love. I would stay well clear of him as he obviously isn't over his ex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): I've learned when a user gets dumped, their biggest pain is felt in their ego. I think this is for both genders. A lot of users do love their victims, albeit not as much as they love their plans and intentions.
This is a very common train of thought after a break up: "Does my ex have any remorse at all?". You're in normal company to wonder this. Eventually I think it won't even matter to you.
One little help note is to forgive your user. And it's a tough one, but it sure helps you along a little bit if you're still having pesky thoughts of an ex.
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (5 April 2009):
You don't need somebody like that in your life, they are damaging people who change you for the worst. It's always hard to accept and move on from but it's something you have to do, don't ever question the past or his motives, people like that aren't worth the time or consideration, cut him out of your life and find somebody worth loving.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): I am sure he cared about you in his own way. He is obviously not looking to get tied down to anyone and probably won't for a long time.
You knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and you took care of yourself and put an end to it.
I know how it feels to hope for something more and that you really cared for him, but now you are free to let someone else come into your life that wants the same things as you.
It is no reflection on you or your desirability that he did not commit to you....it is hard to believe that when you liked him so much and were so good to him, but he is selfish and self centered and looking out only for himself.
Men are a lot colder than we are, and being sexually intimate does not make them fall in love with us and certainly not stay in love with us.
I am sure you dealt a blow to his ego and that is what he is feeling most of all, he is after all all about himself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Thanks Denny,
I hope he did care and that it wasn't a complete waste of time - I feel very low about it all - but at the same time I can't be used as a doormat forever!!
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A
female
reader, seer +, writes (5 April 2009):
A man who uses you doesn't care about you so why would he feel bad that he doesn't have you in his life? I don't think he feels anything. (This doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings.) He may be a little annoyed because now he has to find another girl to take your place. His ex is stupid. Don't be that girl.
I know it hurts. Not all men disrespect women like this. Love yourself first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): I dont think you should be feeling low about it! He was seeing his ex behind your back, honey you deserve better which you obviously know since you ended it. Chances are that someone like him will only feel loss due to the fact that he doesnt have you around when he needs you. He will not feel any remorse or hurt that you are gone. I know that sounds mean and harsh and thats not what I am trying to come off like. But someone who is seeing a couple or a few women at once is usually only out for themselves and will only worry about themselves.
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