A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 15 and i was 18 weeks pregnant i decided to have a abortion because i was scared to tell my mom and was scared of what people at school would say to me if i kept the babybut now im am so sad because i took a life :'( and i keep thinking about it that it could have had a life like mine and yours and it didnt do anything to deserve that.is there anyone in my position ? how can i not feel really bad and not cry everyday ?xxxx
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female
reader, kissxmexagainx  +, writes (24 April 2009):
 I went through the same thing when I was 16. I was only 8 weeks along at the time though, I couldn't imagine doing it at 18 weeks, most places won't that far along. so it must be really hard on you. I don't know if this will help you or not, but I believe that a soul never dies and if you get pregnant again in the future [hopefully at least 3 or 4 years]that your child will have the same soul. that's what I honestly believe.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Your pain is real and I will pray for you. There are groups that can help you heal from this trauma. One is called Project Rachel. They have a lot of experience with post-abortive women. I am an adoptive mother and hope that you and other young women faced with an unwanted pregnancy in the future might consider that even though nine months seems like a long time now, if you give your baby life, he or she can have a wonderful life with a family that longs for a child. I am so grateful for what our birth mother did for our son and our whole family.
God bless you,
NOVA Mom
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A
female
reader, -TotallyInLove- +, writes (5 April 2009):
i was 16 and had only been with my boyfriend a short time, (4 months) i was stupid! got into bed with him and it was my first time. i fell pregnant and i was petrified. 16, no income, no house, argh! what a mess. i told my boyfriend straight away, and he left me, he was 19.. he had better things on his mind than looking new baby, he'd rather drink his money than spend it on nappies, anyway, we split up. i was 8 weeks pregnant and i told my best friend, she was the only person, she went with me and held my hand, i deeply regretted it for months afterwards and even to this day, two years later, i still think about 'what could have been' but its no good dwelling on the past, shoulda woulda coulda.. what if... its useless. i felt and still feel terrible for taking a life, although at 8 weeks there is no heartbeat, i didnt see it like that. but my mother was an alcoholic, i had no help from her (sadly she passed away just 7 months after) and i wish just wish! id have told her, if there was one thing i regretted more than the abortion, it was keeping ssuch a thing from my own mother.. my boyfriend walked out, i had nothing, i had no chance of giving another human being a decent life, im not saying i would be a bad mum, because hopefully, one day, when the times right, i will make a good mum! just not yet, anyway, enough of my life story.. just wanted to say, your not the only one going through this, ive been there, and im sure plenty of others have too, im not very good with advice (she says on an agony aunt site!) hah, but if theres anything you want to talk about, send me a message and feel free to ask me anything, i know its easier telling someone you dont know and id be glad to help, from one stranger to another, dont be too hard on yaself. xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): i was in your place when i was at your age, i was really in trouble and i know i have to made a decision as fast as i can. and i made it. i abort it. its not because i dont like it, its not because the baby has nothing to do with this mess, but its about MY LIFE AND THE FUTURE BABY. Im still young, i cant even buy my own panty or bra i have no income by my self im only depending on my mom, my mom had enough stress why should i give more. and i tell you why, I cried when i take it off. im now 37 years old and i did not feel sorry for what i did, i just pray hopefully god forgive me but i made my peace inside of me. im fine and im doing really fine now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): sorry to hear you are feeling bad darling. You need to go through this grieving in order for you to move on with your life. abortion isn't something you do lightly so the reasons you did it were the right choices for you at this time.
You will never forgot what may have been, but you will stop feling so sad. One day you'll look back and no that you have achieved the things in your life because of the choices you made now. You can do well at school and university and one day give a child a wonderful start in life. This will help you realise at the time the choices you had to make were right. Good luck darling hope you start feeling happier soon
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): I've had an abortion because I wanted that little life to not be subject to the bad things that would have been. Today I am glad I did, and I also know how sound of a choice it was more each year. I have children of my own, and I look at them and know I did the right thing. ArmyMedic hit it all on the head and you just have to keep the true and good things on your mind about your choice, because in the final analysis, all people have made a choice which culture would crucify them for, and you have the right to tell yourself you are a good person no matter what. No matter what!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (5 April 2009):
 It is one of the things that goes with Abortion unfortunately.
But think about in a few years when you are educated have money and the ability to support a child. That is the life you want a child to have, not a teenage age girl struggling and resentful.
Don't feel bad about having an abortion you did the right thing, it would not have been fair to bring a child into the world when you are so young, and could not support it, only to resent it and yourself for the rest of your life.
Just put the whole thing down to experience and you can use that experience to help other girls here on dearcupid.
Please don't take any anti-abortion abuse, these people are normally narrow minded idiots who voted for George Bush.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Don't keep beating yourself up like this! Many babies that are born when their mom is really young end up having brain problems and disorders so you could have saved that baby from a life of suffering. Just keep telling yourself that you did the right thing. Especially since it could have made your life three times as hard as it was before.
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