A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dumped my girlfriend 10 months ago and everyday I regret it. I treated her bad. Now she's hanging around another guy who treats her like a queen and she acting in a way that she didn't act with me. It torments me to watch anothe guy make her happy. I'm regret that it took for this to happen to notice how badly I treated and neglected her. I have to have her back to prove to her how sorry I am and treat her much better than the guy she's hanging with. I am jealous and hurt. I have to have herr back. What do I do?
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female
reader, lam0111 +, writes (28 October 2010):
Sounds like you're trying to win a game or something. Suck it up and treat the next person you date like you should have treated her. She's happy now. Be happy for her and let her be happy. If you mess that up after how you said you treated her she'll hate you for good!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): I can tell you I've been in that situation. My ex of 3 years on/off treated me very badly and I kept going back (I still dont understand why.) About a week after, I met the man of my dreams, who only wants me to be happy, cares for me, and is basically everything I look for in a man. My ex did in fact try coming back, and there was no way in hell I would ever leave my new guy. I guess it all depends on how badly you treated her, but you should just let her go. Understand the mistakes you've made with her and apply them to your next relationship.
Best of luck to you
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Grow up you immature man.
I thought this was being written by a 15 year old until I saw the age.
The reality of it is that you don't get second chances when this happens.
Why would a girl leave the awesome guy she's seeing now to be with a guy that dumped her and treated her bad?!
Stay out of her life and move on.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Let her go. Prove to yourself first that you can do better and be a better boyfriend, it is nothing you need to prove to her. She has already found a man who treats her well and she is happy with. The best thing you can do for yourself is to remember this lesson, and do your next girlfriend good.
You know that would be the right thing to do, and once your ex sees you can make someone else happy, well then you wont need your ex after all, because you will already be happy with someone else.
It doesn't sound like you have done anything to change though. Just realizing you did wrong doesn't mean you will be able to do right next time around, so why break up a good relationship just so you can have a test ride with your ex and possibly hurt her even more. Make sure you actually do treat your next girlfriend better. Not because of your ex, but because people in general deserve to be treated good, and if you treat them good they will treat you good in return.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (28 October 2010):
 If you wanted her that much then why on earth did you leave it 10 months!!! What did you expect her to do? Wait for you while you made your mind up? Get real... She is over you and you cant handle it.You have learnt a hard lesson in life and the old saying goes like this...You dont miss something until its gone.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Sour grapes much?
At your age you should know better, you are now 10 months too late.
Tough luck!
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A
male
reader, morris_say +, writes (28 October 2010):
If she wasn't with someone else would you still want her back? You shouldn't just get back with her to prove a point.
Have you tried talking to her already? don't go in guns blazing, start with a sincere apology and see how it goes, just don't get carried away as it sounds like she's moved on so you might have to too. Apologising should stop you feeling so guilty about how you treated her previously.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (28 October 2010):
 It's been 10months since you broke up with her. Why has it taken you so long to decide you want her back? Because now she's with somebody else. You said it yourself: you're jealous. You now want her because you can't have her. Well not only for that reason, I'm sure you do still have feelings for her.
This is probably a case of a)you want what you can't have and b)you only realise what you had when it's gone.
This woman is now with a man who treats her well. If she thinks with her head, she won't want to give him up to go back to an ex who she can only trust on words alone that he will treat her right.
You're going to have to accept that you made mistakes in your relationship with her and she's moved on. You have to let go of her too, and the next person you enter a relationship with, make sure you treat them the best you can so that you do not lose them.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (28 October 2010):
 I'm sorry. You don't have a remote chance, you treated he like rubbish then dumped her and it's been 10 months! Let her be happy if you really like her let her have the guyshe deserves. Sounds like you just like being in control and want to control her again.
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