A
female
age
30-35,
*ethaneymae
writes:im so confused, im a girl of 16, i went out with a friend last night and had a bit too much to drink, i ended up kissing my ex's best friend and one of his friends,infront of each other, then my ex's friend kissed my best friend straight after. Then i went off for a drive with another boy in his car for a few hours. Then i lost my prom date because he found out about the whole night. Now everyone thinks im a slag but ive never even slept with anyone.
View related questions:
best friend, kissing, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bethaneymae +, writes (29 November 2009):
bethaneymae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys youve all helped alot (: and youve all given great advice (:
A
male
reader, mr motivator +, writes (28 November 2009):
Unfortunately at your age, gossip is gossip, and if you went off for a drive with another man after having a skinful to drink people will start asking questions, like one of the other posters said, you know what you did and didnt do, doesnt matter what anyone else thinks
...............................
A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (28 November 2009):
 If you're not the sort of person to repeat this, don't worry about it. The teenage attention span isnt a long one - this will blow over, and people will forget, so long as you don't go out every weekend doing the same thing and making yourself a reputation! Just wait it out. :)
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Double standards, ain't they wonderful? One guy in your story kissed two girls as well, but I bet he is called a stud because of it.
But you are not going to be the one to get rid of double standards. Or maybe you are, who knows you might be the next Obama, although England already had a female leader.
The point is that society doesn't look to kindly on girls who play around. Either you accept that people will talk behind your back, or you do as society wishes. Oh, and if you hadn't kissed any of them you would have been called a prude...
My advice? Life is unfair, deal with it. Decide for yourself what it is you want but until you know for sure what you want, stay away from the alcohol until you can handle it and not make choices you are going to regret the next morning.
If you want to kiss three different guys without others judging you for it (however unfair), sorry, that just won't happen. If you didn't want to, then stay away from the alcohol and people will you called you a prudish stick in the mud (or whatever the real english phrase is)
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (28 November 2009):
 You know you didn't do anything too bad so stop worrying about what other people think. If your prom-date dumped you without giving you the chance to explain yourself then I would say he isn't worthy of escorting you. If you were in a relationship with him then his reaction is hardly surprising because you cheated on him. He may calm down and you may wish to apologise to him for getting drunk if he is your boyfriend.
We all make mistakes when we have had too much alcohol and there is a big lesson there for you...you are drinking underage, you are going off in cars while intoxicated (was the driver drunk???) and really bad stuff could have happened to you. I used to work in an A&E department in London a while ago and most of the casualities coming through the door at the weekend are plastered and injured from falls or violence. Instead of focusing on what other people are saying about you today, think about how bad you feel for letting yourself down...and leave the booze alone. Ok, lecture over...there are big double standards in this society of ours...you kiss and flirt with several guys and that makes you a slag to some people, yet men who do it to women are players and hero-worshipped by the very same people. You will always come up against people willing to judge you for this, that or the other. However, if you feel ok with your behaviour then it is no-one else's business and your self image shouldn't depend on how you are perceived by the local gossips. I suspect you don't feel ok with how you behaved and you should hold onto that regret for future reference! The gossip will go away soon and someone else will be the subject of vicious rumour.
...............................
A
female
reader, domybest +, writes (28 November 2009):
That's alright don't worry about it!! You know what you are and so do your friends so that's all that matters!
Don't get wound up about it, that will only spur people on to keep saying stuff.
Just be true to yourself and don't let others get to you. Remember... Sticks and stones make break your bones but names will never hurt you.
X
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): hey there, listen hunny thats wot drinking too much can do to us sometimes... ive been there too. i ended up kissing three girls and like five guys one of which had gf who was at the same party i was at at the time... there isnt a lot u can really do hun but the best thing to do is ignore it. u know wot happened so if they wanna call u a slag just laugh it off. eventually itll become a joke. but lets just say lesson learned eh. dnt drink too much and drink with ur friends at all times so u dnt lose them. it will get easier over time hunny and soon it will be forgotten. keep ur chin up hun xx
...............................
|
