| A
male
,
*o_name
writes: O.K., here it goes. I am a bisexual male, and I have been with my girlfriend for over 3 years. I have only had two contacts with a man in the past. I recently started hanging out with a guy from work that I believe I am falling deeply in love with, and him with me. I have told my girlfriend of my interest in this guy, and obviously she is not taking the news too well. I do not want to lose the best woman/friend/lover I have ever met, but I just can't fend off my urges to be with him as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm drowning here... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
I have a close friend who was married for years & discovered he was bi-sexual.He told his wife & their marriage ended because she could not accept it or deal with the issue.Now he is in a loving relationship with another female who understands his be-sexual appetite & she accommodates him.If you have been totally honest with your girlfriend, and she cannot accept it...give her a bit of time, perhaps see a counsellor together & if she still cannot come to terms with it...move on.Discovering you are bi-sexual presents a challenge, but remaining in an unsupportive relationship, complicates the hell out of your life.Be true to yourself...end the torment & make a decision.
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (5 July 2005):
 I think you may not be able to have your cake and eat it, I'm afraid.
You need to be brutally honest with your girlfriend and let her know that you are falling in love with this guy at work and he with you and then let her decide what she wants to do. I mean, I'm sure you can see that it isn't fair on her?
You have to choose who you want to be with in this situation before someone really gets hurt (although I'm afraid they will anyway).
Leading a double life isn't fair on anyone so you need to decide who you want to be with and stick with it.
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, The compassionist +, writes (5 July 2005):
The best thing to do in this situation is to maybe tell your girlfriend that you are bisexual if you havent already that might be the best approach but she may find this a bit disturbing but if she truly loves you she could cope
...............................
A
reader, kt  +, writes (5 July 2005):
 hiok, first you need to sort out who you love most and who you will have a better future with and other stuff you find nice in a lover, I know it will be hard but you just cant lead a double life.if you want to leave your gf for the guy at work but you still want to be friends, dont tell her its because you love someone else, thats the last thing she wants to hear. just make up some exuses that will leave you both happy and friendly.and if you want to stay with her, try and stay away from him and very slowly he will fade from your life.good luck!!
...............................
A
female
reader, xxClozzerxx +, writes (5 July 2005):
It seems to me like you need to think deep down what you really want. Do you wanna lose the girl you have loved and cared for so much or would you risk all of that to be with a man who you have known for a few months? This is what I would do if I was you, I would sit and write a list of things that attract you to your girlfriend and then a list of what attracts you to this man, then sit and look at the list and think hard of what you really want.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (5 July 2005):
At least youve told your girlfriend of your attraction to this chap at work, thats the first step.Your next step is to decide whether you want to remain with your girlfriend or take a chance with this guy at your work (is he even gay?)
...............................
|
