A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:a few years ago i broke up with the love of my life, and meet a lovely girl within weeks. i chased my ex for over a year and finally we got back together. during this time i was seriusly ill and told my ex to leave me cause she was too young to deal with this... while trying to deal wit this i resumed my relationship with this other girl who was nearer my age. this girl wants us to live together but i think im doing the wrong thing as i still think of my ex daily. i wanna meet my ex and need to know what she feels. thing is im scared she feels the same and that i will destroy this lovely girl who is crazy bout me... hope some out there can help
View related questions:
broke up, got back together, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lostlove76  +, writes (24 January 2010):
I must say it is very unfortunate for the young lady that really cares for you and you are in no position to commit yourself the way that she is. I say you need to work out your feelings about your ex because as long as you have those feelings for her each and every woman will just be a way to pass your time. You can't love the person that loves you because you love someone else. As long as you have those feelings you will never be free to love her because you are not giving 100% to her.
A
female
reader, sick  +, writes (24 January 2010):
I think you are cruel. In the first place you have no place being in a relationship, be it with your x or with this "lovely girl." If you really loved your x, you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation. If you really cared about this "lovely girl," you wouldn't have started something with her knowing you are not over your x.
to be honest, i think the only person you really love is yourself.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): Ps she is crazy about you but it is clearly not a two way thing!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): Hi there, A horrible situation to be in i agree as you are clearly fond of the girl you are with 'but' you dont sound like you are in love with her?? As for this other girl, it seems that you want closure either to know if she still holds a torch for you or whether she has moved on or not.
But taking your ex out of the equation for the moment i go back to how it seems, and that is that you care for your girlfriend and appreciate that she is a lovely girl, but are you madly in love with her and can you truly say you can imagine spending the rest of your life with her, or, are you settling for someone becasue you dont want to be on your own??
I think you need some sort of closure and you would like to make sure that you havent let 'the one' get away. Possibly you are wanting this because you are unsure of settling down and making the commitment of moving in with your current girlfriend.
I wouldnt like to be in your shoes to be fair, but all i can say is you need to maybe talk to a close friend and throw it all out there how your feeling and try and figure out whether you really love and want to be with the girl you are with now, regardless of your ex.
It is not unusual and i think very common to always hold a torch for your first love but ask yourself if you really think she was 'the one' and is contacting her worth losing who you are with now? take care and keep us posted!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): I don't think it's fair you're with this girl in the first place for the reasons you state, especially seeing as you didn't allow yourself time to get over your ex.
Now you're considering going behind her back and talking to your ex? Are you still sick? Is it a mental problem?
I'm not trying to be funny and please don't take offence, but you should do the honourable thing and leave this woman if your heart isn't hers.
What if your ex says she doesn't want to be with you? Do you think your current girlfriend will be okay being your consolation prize? Do you think it's fair to be with someone when allyou can think about is another woman?
No matter what happens the girl you are with is going to get hurt unless you don't mind living a lie with her, there's no way around this, the honourable thing to do is to end it and only then go talk to your ex if she says no then you'll just have to deal with it.
...............................
|
