A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I met my ex through my church youth group. We dated for a little over 3 years, but then i broke up with him. Only a few people in the youth group know that I have a new boyfriend. I'm afriad that if someone finds out, they will go and tell my ex. I don't want to hurt my ex by having him find out I've moved on (quickly in his mind...we broke up in august). Should I tell them, becuase I feel bad not telling anyone? Also, since everyone is still good friends with him, I don't want them to look down on me and think I'm a slut or something becuase I moved on so quickly. And, I don't want them to think that I broke up with him for my present boyfriend (which I didn't).Bottom line, should I tell them, or not for fear of rejection?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): The fear of rejection is only in your mind. Four months is enough time for you to have moved on. And if these people are 'church' people and real christians they should know they can't judge you. And if they are really your friends you should be able to share with them this important part of your life that is your new boyfriend.
You should understand we can't live our lives trying to please others. You only have to please God firstly and then yourself. People always should come last. Why? because it's proven we will never be able to satisfy completely other people. There will always be someone who's not satisfied with what you think,said or did in life. With that said people who always try to satisfy everyone lead a life of frustration.
And don't worry about your ex. He might have someone new already. Men move on faster than women. The way he takes it it's not your bussiness.
A
female
reader, Full moon temptress1  +, writes (1 January 2008):
Its been 4 months since you split up from your ex.To me that's adequate amount of time spent.If he finds out that you're dating again,it may hurt him but it may be the push for him to find someone new himself.As for being a slut, you're not,people that know you won't think so either.Enjoy your new relationship,without worring what other people think.It's what you think that matters.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 January 2008):
 He's your ex, why is it of importance how you choose to move one? You're open to be able to date again. As far as being thought of as a slut. How people see your behavior is how they label how they think about you. Dating someone new shouldn't cause others to see you as a slut, but how you act and present yourself in your actions and behaviors will determine how they see you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): do not tell them out of the blue, only if a question asked is related to your currant boyfriend. The fact you broke up with him doesnt mean your moving to quick and your a 'slut' as you are the one who ended the relationship due to not wanting to be with him. this is normall behaviour and if you tell everyone out of the blue it may seem you are doing so to spite your ex. message me if you want any more advice x
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