A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with this guy who also says that he loves me and I know he does through his actions and all however, he was married about 2 years ago and has a baby from his ex wife. The thing is that she is always around; calling him, coming to his workplace and what not. He says he doesn't have any feelings for her at all but he wont tell her to stop contacting her. i don't know what to do. i mean if he is with me i don't want his ex to be involved as well. can you please help me and tell me what to do?thank you.
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ex-wife, his ex, workplace Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Markingbad  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 I feel sorry for the poor kid.
Anyway if you think that changes anything where you are concerned i am afraid it doesnt. They have to sort themselves out and you need to stay out of that. Your place is to decide if you want to be there for him or not. Thats if he wants to continue seeing you of course.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 October 2009):
Then it's your boyfriend's job to stop her bringing food, and it's your boyfriends job to get a dna test done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand now he says his not sure if the baby is his. so his gonna get a dna test but the baby is already 3 years old. i mean if he wasn't sure in the 1st place why would he wait 3 years and just now get the test done? i mean i know she is going to be there because of the baby but it seems like shes there for herself cause alot of time she just comes without the baby and even brings him food. and i dont know how to tell him that it bothers me.thank you all for answering b.t.w. :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 October 2009):
His ex will be involved because they have a child together and that's it. She won't just go away, because she can't. If you can't accept that she will be in his life because of their child, then move on now.
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A
female
reader, Druggggggy +, writes (24 October 2009):
 if they have a child together it would be wrong of you to shut her out completely. but if its bothering you that much just ask him about it.
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A
male
reader, Markingbad +, writes (24 October 2009):
You are out of your depth hun. You dont have to like him seeing his ex but you sure as hell better learn to accept it. You try and interfere in any way that affects his access to his child and you will lose. Its important for a man to try and get allong with the mother of his children after a divorce. Its not allways easy. But once regular contact has been established you dont let silly teenaged girls throw a spanner in the works.
If you want to be in such an adult relationship you got to act like one. You should find yourself a guy with no baggage.
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A
female
reader, Shiny Moon  +, writes (24 October 2009):
He is having a baby with his ex, obviously its difficult for him to forget the baby. may be he is rite that he dont love her anymore and may be for baby's sake he cant say her to not contact him. but yes u can convince him to talk to her about not to call him frequently or turn up to his work place. you need to convince him gradually. dont be harsh and spoil you relationship. speak to him softly. and show ur concerns and how much you love him. he will definately understand it if you tell him in a rite way.
have patience and have faith.
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