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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: ere's the situation:We've been dating for awhile. It's a long distance relationship, but we both went into the relationship knowing it wasn't going to be easy. He said we were in it for the long haul; good or bad.We got into an argument two weeks ago when I went to his house. I told him I was done and that I was leaving. I ended up leaving his house, driving away, only to park at some parking lot just to think about things. I had to go back to get my jacket that I had left, and he told me he didn't want me to leave, not to call it quits, because he needs me in his life and doesn't know what he would do without me. We talked things over for awhile, and everything was okay.Last week was really good considering what had happened the previous weekend. Ever since I left his house, we talked about me going back up to see him this weekend (5th-7th). He told me he wasn't going to go see his cousins in a few weeks because he wanted to come down by me and enjoy the time together.Two days ago, he called me to say he couldn't do the distance anymore. This was a complete shock. I don't really know what to do or think. I haven't contacted him at all. I'm giving him his space hoping he'll come around.Is this him just overthinking/stressed out? Or is this something I should be concerned about? * 2 days ago * - 2 days left to answer.Additional DetailsHe told me he was busy with work and what not. Well, we both have jobs and we both went into it knowing we'd have to make sacrifices. All he said on the phone was "I don't think I can do the distance."On Monday, I logged into Facebook to see our "Relationship status" had been taken off, by him.It wasn't really expected. I'm giving him his space in hopes he'll rethink things.I went back to get my jacket. We sat on his porch and he said,"If you really wanted to be over, you would have left by now." Of course I did not want to leave. He told me I meant everything to him...This is just out of character.I'm afraid to call/text him because I don't want to make the mistake of being needy/clingy. I want him to come back to me. I asked him why he asked me to come up this weekend (on Saturday, the day before he called it quits), if this is what was going to happen. He had no answer. I asked why he stated on Saturday also that he wanted to come stay with me in a few weeks. He said,"I'm gonna go..." That was his response to both questions. That's all he said.--------Update! ** After no contact (no emails, texts, calls), he text me saying "Hey." last night (6-3-09), I didn't respond. Should I wait a few days to see if he says anything more? I don't want him to think I'm always going to come running back to him when this happens. What could he possibly want?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Don't second guess yourself OR him. It's not going to do you any good, it will just really drive you batty.
If you don't want it to be over, then call and talk to him. If he tells you again that he can't DO long distance, then you have three choices:
1. Quit and find a guy who either lives closer to you or can handle it.
2. Move closer to him.
3. Ask him to move closer to you.
Playing mind games is a waste of time.
A
female
reader, always.you +, writes (4 June 2009):
 just wait a day or two too see if he replies.. and update when yall talk hun
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A
female
reader, Mary_Massacre  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 ok well he sounds like a "mean" person...i think yes, he may just need a bit of "man time" (i'm not quite sure what this is but my boyfriend did similar to me once and tats what he called it). don't run back to him, thats what he wants tho perhaps you should text him back, within in a day. he is actually probably waiting for the text, dying for you to text him back DONT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION but don't wait too long otherwise he will think its completely over and move on.but what ever you do play hard to get, but not too hard. if it was meant to be then he will chase after you, if not then he's not worth your time.hope this helped =]
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A
female
reader, happytobe +, writes (4 June 2009):
 As someone who is in a long distance relationship I find this extremely scary. I understand the kind of commitment you two put into the relationship from the start. Long distance relationships are no two week type deal. You have to really like... or most of the time love the person to go through the pain and you also have to trust them completely. It seems very odd to me that after putting forth this kind of commitment he would behave in such a way. Maybe you scared him with the whole leaving ordeal before and he's the kind of guy who wants to leave before he is left. Maybe he thought about things and couldn't handle the long distance after all. He could have even done something bad and broken up with you before you find out to keep from having major conflict over it. You really just need to talk to him. I don't think it would be running back if you texted him back and just got a straight out honest answer from him. It would make you feel alot better if you did, I'm sure. I wish you the best of luck. I know I'd be heart-broken if something like this happened in my relationship.
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