A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance asked me about my sex past the other night and we got to talkin about it, i told her more or less the truth, i have slept with about 60 diff. chicks (mostly one night stands, a few threesomes and 2 orgies- i had some wild parties)i didnt tell her about the parties and orgies. shed never been with anyone else before she slept with me. she is under the impression that ive slept with less than 10 girls cuz i told her about girls i slept with in 'relationships' and none of 1 nighters or the girls i cheated with (she also doesnt know that ive cheated on all my exes)anyway she asked me jokingly if she was the hottest girl ive ever slept with and i hesitated because frankly she isnt, i have been with major major hotties, but anyway the 2 or 3 second pause before i placated her with a 'of course' was enough for her to see through it and now shes hurt and shes been acting funny and she keeps pressuring me for more details about my sexual past but i dont want to tell her the truth because it would make her even more insecure so im trying to dodge her questions. its gettin hard, she is seeing right through me... help i dont want her to call off the wedding or something stupid over this.
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fiance, insecure, my ex, one night stand, sexual past, threesome, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): wow - shes not the hottest girl you've been with? Well in that case why don't you bugger off and find another 'hottie' - oh wait will they not have you?!?!
Shes your future wife - your ex's shouldn't even be in the same league as her! whats going on?
Do you love her? If so why? I think its ok not to be the 'hottest' looking girl but her personality and eveything that attracts you to her enough that your prepared to marry her suggests that she has to be special. Focus and compliment her on reasons as to why all those other 'hotties' never quite made the cut!
How would you feel if she turned around and announced that you weren't the hottest guy, the best in bed, the 'biggest' etc etc that shes been with - how would that make you feel?
I think you really need to reaccess this relationship and talk openly and honestly with your future (maybe) wife!!!
A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 If she requests the truth, then you should give it to her, and deal with the choices she makes as a result.
She should have a right to know the person she's marrying after all, the path that you've walked previously indicates the person you are now.
Especially the fact that you've cheated on all your exes, she should know whether she wants to risk upset like that. House odds are stacked in favour of you cheating again, it seems like an achievement to you.
If you can't tell her, you don't respect her, and therefore shouldn't be marrying her.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 October 2007):
 You don't want to tell her the truth, then you shouldn't be getting married. It's all about honesty first, before anything else in a marriage can follow. Start out with distrust, better start saving up for the divorce.
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