A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met my ex about 2 months before we started dating. we hardly ever talked, and he was with one of my friends anyways. we hooked up over the summer, and dated for about a month. it was a fantastic relationship, and i thought we were doing really well. he broke up with me very suddenly, saying i was 'too clingy', even though outside of school, we only saw each other once a week, and when i asked if he felt smothered he said 'no'. he told me lots of things that i've found out are now lies, and we lost our virginity to each other. since he broke up with me, i've had a really rough time getting him out of my head! i've even gone on dates with other guys, but i just keep thinking about wanting to get back with him, even though we've talked (extensively) about it and i know he doesn't feel the same way. it's been over a month now and i need some tips on how to just move on.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 I think the main thing is to focus on your own life, dating other people may help in time but it is obvious from what you write here that you need some time to get over your ex and maybe in dating other people you are looking to replace him, which of course wont be possible because he is an individual.
Obviously he was very special to you no matter what lies he told and he will always remain so. However, if this guy was lieing to you then you can, and will, do better and find somebody who appreciates you for who you are and who doesnt lie. I think that you have to realise that you splitting up was nothing to do with you and wasnt down to any flaws you possess, in fact the 'clingy' line sounds like an excuse he made; if he was lieing then the fault lies with him and his inability to properly committ to you.
How do you feel about talking to him? Do you secretly hope that one day you will get back together? I think maybe that hope is prolonging the agony and preventing you from moving on and maybe you could consider reducing or ceaseing contact for some time. Focus on yourself and having fun, go out with friends and try and have a good time. Good luck :)
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