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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend's sister (who's 5) was being abuse by her parents. To cut a long story short, child services called her asking if she wanted to be her guardian, or she'll be in foster care. She told me she doesn't want her sister to live with brunch of strangers. When she talked to me about it, I said no, because I don't like kids. It causing fights between us, and she's telling me I'm being selfish for ruining our relationship. Should I listen to her? Any ideas? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Dear poster, You've obviously read our 'ideas', so what do you think?Do you love your girlfriend enough to change your attitude towards little children now?And can you also see now why this is causing you and your girlfriend to fight, and why she's telling you - you are being selfish for ruining your relationship?You really have to understand how she's feeling. How heartless would she be, if she dumped her little sister on strangers?Who knows one day you may want to marry her, then what are you going to do if she decides she wants a family?Do the wise thing and make the right decision.BigSisx
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Dear PosterGo stand in front of the mirror; have a good look at yourself; think about this question you have posted and let me know if you can look yourself in the eyes and feel good about your attitude towards this little girl and your girlfriend.What would you have done if it was your brother or sister?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Wow. You are a very selfish person. It's not all about you, you know. You're not just talking about a kid, you're talking about a HUMAN BEING who has been abused.
Seriously, get over yourself. Your girlfriend sounds like a lovely person, you should feel lucky that she has such a caring heart. She should dump you so she can get on with the job of raising HER sister.
Hope you find a heart in time.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 October 2008):
 Your girlfriend should have the sense to leave you. How dare you take out your resentment and hatred on this poor little girl, she has been abused by people who are supposed to love and cherish her and the last thing she wants is a SAD MEAN HUMAN BEING.Why don't you do the decent thing and accept that this little mite needs her sister to raise her in a caring and loving environment? Stop acting like a SPOILT BRAT and give this little girl a proper start in life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Sorry babes, but I think your girlfriend should leave you. If somebody hurt any child around me, I would track them down and try and kill them. I would offer that child my heart, my home, my love and anything else that would heal and protect them from harm. If you was my boyfriend and you wouldn't help, I would class you as my enemy and I would throw you out with the other rubbish. I like kids, I like helping people that hurt, and I don't like selfish people who only think of themselves and their own comforts. To me, you would be seen as another abuser, cause you want to put this poor hurt, scared child in a home with a pile of strangers who might hurt her further. You don't like kids, and you would not be a good role model. Your girlfriend can't ignore the needs of her own flesh and blood. There is no argument, your relationship is finished, because you are too selfish to show love and compassion to one small little girl.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 Not getting much sympathy so far and I am not going to give it either.
You want a child of 5 to go into a home after being abused because you don't like kids.
My advice to her is to dump you yesterday and my advice to you is crawl back under your rock.
Kids come first. Nobody could be asked to send their sibling of into care because their partner doesn't like kids. Nobody is going to agree with your stance.
I don't like kids either, but you don't turn a person away who needs help. Nobody is asking you to be her best friend or to be a dad. Just provide shelter and food. Be human. Try it sometimes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Wow...do you have a heart?? Do you have any idea how frightened that little 5 year old is and you tell your girlfriend you don't like kids?! Do your girlfriend a favor and end things! How would you feel if that was your brother/sister and your girlfriend said no? You are a jerk, and I hope your girlfriend leaves you. Family is family bud, and blood is thicker than water, I doubt very seriously if your girlfriend will chose you over her sister. I'd have been long gone. God, get some compassion, go the wizard and ask for a heart..you sure don't have one!
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 You are ruining your relationship. If I was in her situation, no dating relationship would be more important than taking care of my sister, who's in a bad situation.
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (18 October 2008):
Yes you should listen to her, if you know what's right and what's good for you.
Whether you like kids or not, could you honestly.. in your heart of hearts, see that poor little child be taken away from her sister, after what she's been through?
You'd be out like a shot if you were my fella. Shame on you.
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female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (18 October 2008):
 I personally think that you are the BIGGEST JERK EVER, this child was being abused, and you don't want to help her because you don't like kids!?!? What kind of person does that? And to top it all off she's your girlfriend's SISTER! This is wrong on SOOOOOOO many levels, I honestly hope that your girlfriend realizes what you are before she gets too involved with someone like you. I feel bad for her.
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