A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hoping some of the great aunts can help here. This is not a huge problem but some second opinions would help. I enjoy my job immensely and have good relationships with my colleagues. I work hard to make sure I do. There is a guy in the office that I cannot figure out. I used to give him a quiet and friendly good morning but have stopped because he never responds. Also he seems to delight in commenting on my job performance and things I am doing which is hurtful. I work hard at my marketing job and suspect he would find things no matter what I do. I am now just ignoring him. Now, when I walk into the room I say hi to all but him. I can see that he is not a first class jerk actually but I note that he does say hello to some people but not to others. Why is he like this and how do I handle it. I was brought up to be polite...so not sure what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Is he your supervisor? Or, does he carry an important clout on your career advancement?
Office politics exist because some insecure and/or ambitious people will do anything to get ahead. And to him, you may indeed be a threat to his career advancement (thats how insecure he is).
It will be difficult, but try to not take his negative comments and attitude toward you to heart. But, in addition to taking notes when, where, how and what he did that was inappropriate, unfair, biased, mean, or plain wrong, also make sure that you have your correspondence, reports, notes, etc etc filed - but do not brag about it (actually, do not even talk about this system of yours to any colleague). These will be useful as your evidence against any professional/formal allegations that he may bring up against you. Or, at the very least, you can use it when you think you cannot take it anymore from him.
Having said that, just ignore him when he is being a jerk. The more you ignore him, either he will get tired of getting no response from you, or worst case scenario: it will drive him "bonkers" .. in which case the situation is reversed (in the sense that it was just too funny to watch him get all frustrated from your non-response).
Been there done that (in a similar predicament as yours that is)
Cat
A
female
reader, AlextheOdd  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Maybe he has had past issues with women, or a particular one that reminds him of you. It could also be that 'badass' guy mental stage where they show their affection through rude or distasteful comments. I would try confronting him on a lunch break of after work, do it without coming out hostile though. Since you are both mature persons in a work space it's better to work this out as adults rather then play it out as some high school drama. Maybe try asking "How are you?" "Whats wrong?" or "Why are you always so rude to me and not anyone else, did I offend you in someway?"
They may be cheesy one liners but it's better to get to the root of the problem so he can't just shrug off the question.
Best of luck to you
-A
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