A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend says he wants to try new things but I am a mother of three and do not look like I used to...does that bother men as much as it bothers women? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): Not really, we're more likely to be bothered by how much it bothers our women.
Physically we all change, gain or lose weight, gain wrinkles, stretch marks, sag, that doesn't really matter to most of us.
It's the loss of confidence, the moaning and complaining, insecurity, the feeling of looking ugly, that's the stuff that bothers us most. Well it bothers me anyway. No ones perfect OP and women's bodies change after birth and with age, that's fine. But if it turns a woman from a content person, relatively happy with their body to one who is painfully insecure, no self-confidence and just doesn't feel sexy anymore then we lose out big time, because loss of sex drive, lesser quality sex and unhappiness can occur and that can have a negative bearing on the relationship.
For me the worst part of all that is a woman/man who is unhappy with his/her body but will do nothing to change it, or does the wrong things to change it. It's not hard to get fit and healthy, it really isn't, I've done it (from fat as hell to athletic with 6 pack etc.) and on a very busy, exhausting schedule too. There really is no valid reason for not changing something that you're unhappy about and can change, so it annoys me when people complain about it. It annoys me that people would rather remain unhappy than do something about it. So that's what bother me. I have no problem with the fact my girlfriend has extra weight, cellulite, wrinkles and stretch marks, she's sexy as hell to me and very beautiful. She's prefer to have the perfect body like pretty much everyone would but she never lets it effect her confidence or feelings of being sexy, so it's never really been an issue for us.
If it bothers you so much then change it, it's easy. Eat healthy and exercise. I know 3 kids is an unbelievably taxing full time job, but regular exercise, eating healthy and feeling good about yourself actually would make that job somewhat easier. More energy, less fatigue and looking and feeling better about yourself would put an extra spring in your step and not having time is not an excuse either when it only takes 30 mins of cardio 3 times a week to vastly improve your health. Don't believe the bullshit OP, this idea that getting fit is difficult is a bullshit advertizing ploy designed to make a companies fitness product, fad diet look like the quick and easy option, it's also there for people to make it look like more of accomplishment when they have gotten fitter. But it's easy as hell, all it takes is patience.
A
female
reader, angelalb +, writes (13 January 2012):
I don't think so but you need to feel good about yourself so do something about it. If it doesn't bother you men don't care sex is sex to them. Love is a big part of that. Daniele
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A
male
reader, anonymous_jp  +, writes (13 January 2012):
not if your boobs are awesome :) but seriously you cant not try new things because of fear, that's not living. give it a shot anyway, maybe talk to him asking something similar to what youve asked here. if hes a good guy it would mean more to him that youre willing to open yourself to him rather than not, in fear of how you look.
i guess there's always surgery as a last option if he is bothered. it depends on the guy i guess. to be honest i would be bothered if my gfs thingy looked horrible (not saying yours is) but love matters more and she has awesome boobies :) im a boob man haha. just keep in shape, as long as "it" works and if the rest of you is kept in check it shouldn't matter. good luck
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