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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I feel so much hate, it's tedious and has me so unhappy. And it's for something so stupid! I have really small boobs and some cellulite. My ex, who's the only guy I've had sex with, the only one who's seen me naked, commented on both things without being asked!I hate my body, especially my boobs, I feel so lacking. He made me see that men prefer big boobs and I see it especially in the media, it's always about cleavage, big boobs or the illusion of big boobs (push ups, duct tape, make up, etc., just to make perfectly fine small boobs look big!)I even asked him once (after noticing his celeb crushes, his ogling at other busty women and of course, his comments about mine) if he thought bigger was better. He said yes, but that he couldn't help it, that most men do. But that mine were ok (just ok?!) and that he loved me for other things and that at least he was only looking and I should've been thankful for that.We broke up for other reasons, but I can't let that go! I hate him and I hate my body. I feel so ugly, especially because I have nothing physically to make up for it. My butt's not round, my thighs are big and have cellulite and my face is just average! I don't know how to get over it, everytime I watch TV and there's a reference of bigger is better or small is not sexy my mood goes down, and I feel like lashing out on my ex. I feel like I'll never be enough for anyone because of the love for big boobs! I envy busty women, even if they complain, I'd prefer that to having small unsexy breasts! I feel like I'll always be average at best. My body looks weird with small breasts, I'm not built like Keira Knightley or Milla Jovovich or Eva Longoria. They look awesome with small breasts, I'm more like Marylin Monroe sans boobs.Help. I'm tired of feeling this way.
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boobs, breasts, broke up, crush, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Oh, the grass is always greener!!! You say you're like Marilyn Monroe, sans boobs? What are you complaining about? I wish I had the hips she had! And, YES, there are plenty of men out there who like small breasts. I can tell you this, with certainty, when you meet the right guy for you and he loves you, he will love ALL of you - whatever you've got to offer, he'll love and enjoy it. You just didn't have the right guy and don't worry, most of us don't find the right one the first time around.
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 You have to realize that your boyfriend is kind of a jerk. Your boobs shouldn't have been "just okay" they should been THE GODDAMN BEST. Obviously he took for granted that YOUR boobs are the ones he has access to. I think he took that privilege for granted.
You need to learn to love yourself, and your boobs. Don't just accept them, or try to compensate them, LOVE THEM.
Believe it or not, there are guys who like small boobs. You will find a guy who will, not only accept your body, but LOVE IT. And why should you deserve any less?
You need to love your body before anyone else can.
And almost every girl in the world has cellulite, and only the very shallow part of the shallow pool cares about that.
I'm a very insecure girl, and I find enhancing your natural beauty is a great well to feel better about yourself. I don't mean like push up bras or make up. If you don't already, buy a body butter, I love the body shop's cranberry one. Exfoliate regularly, have a proper facial cleansing routine.
I also find lingerie helps me out, wearing a pair of silky panties under your regular clothes really makes you feel confident.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): You know i've always been self concious about my boobs because, in my opinion, they are too big and i get a lot of unwanted attention from guys. A guy i liked who i ended up being FWB with would talk about my boobs all the time. Felt kind of degrading and i still try and wear clothes that cover me up so i'd kill for a smaller chest.
Everyone has things they aren't happy with but you just have to make the best of what you've got. It sounds to me that there is nothing wrong with you you are just a little insecure.
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A
male
reader, raybork  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 You are not alone in women who dislike something about their body, in fact all women suffer from some sort of physical insecurity.
Those TV and magazine adverts show women who have been airbrushed. If you saw them first thing in the morning they would look very different to their public persona.
You are seeing your previous relationship purely on your physical looks, and nothing more.
Most women wear make up and a lot wear padded bra's, it's what they feel they have to do to be attractive to men.
Could you not get some quality make up advice from someone you trust to help you.
You can be sexy with small breasts, if you also have an outgoing personality,a sense of humor, and wear clothes that compliment your body shape.
Stop hating yourself and the world, and take positive control of your life. There is somebody out there waiting just for you. You just don't know it yet!
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A
female
reader, alice0110 +, writes (24 November 2010):
every girl has issues with their body and the ones who act confident are normally the ones with the most. its all about accepting who you are and yh, he may have said that he prefers bigger boobs, but he was still with you and surely that counts for something? it shows that he loved you for the person you really are, not just superficial things and that is special. and ok, he likes girls with bigger boobs but surely your dream man wouldnt be completely identical to him? its all about accepting people for who they really are and you should feel extremely lucky that he really did love you for who you are, just being yourself :D
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (24 November 2010):
I really don't know what I/we can say; this is something you need to discover for yourself. I suppose I can tell you that everyone has insecurities. Just as every girl wishes she could be skinnier, bustier, curvier, different facial features, etc there are as many guys who wish they were skinnier, more muscular, more athletic, less hairy, more hairy, better smile, better hair...the list goes on and on and on.
Everyone has personal confidence issues on some level. You really have three choices:
A. Let it drag you down and make you unhappy
B. Let it change your lifestyle (workout more/less, eat more/less)
or C. Try your best to accept who you are and be happy with it.
I highly recommend option C. Trying to "fix" things about you will usually only hurt you more in the end, especially once you find there are things about you that just can't be fixed. The most exciting, energetic, fun, admirable people I know are the ones who are proud and happy with themselves no matter their physical stature.
When you are as happy and confident as they are, people will notice you. You'll become that person everyone loves/envies because you can find the greatness in everything, especially yourself. I can't stress enough how attractive it is for a woman to be happy with her body and proud of the person she is. I really hope you can find that for yourself!
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A
female
reader, elizstar +, writes (24 November 2010):
OK I KNOW I CAN HELP
MY JOB IS AIR BRUSHING, IT IS MOST GIRLS IDEAL TO BE ATHLETIC WITH BIG BOOBS. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. JUST BE HAPPY N YOUR OWN BODY.
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