A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone ever had a similar awkward situation like this?..I've known this attractive charismatic guy over 5 years. Our conversations started off warm and friendly. I once asked him his name when I ran into him at a store. I will admit to having grown a crush on him over the years. Though, nothing has ever happened beyond a "hello, how are you?" conversation.However a few years ago things started to change into a more intense and stranger pseudo-flirtationship...(if you could even call it that). With both of us in a relationship, I opted to pull back and not be so friendly, which made everything worse. Then I chose to avoid going by where he works, but as soon as I went back..the energy between us was either really awkward or intense.Ever since, I've struggled to feel normal in seeing him. I don't think the attraction is there between us anymore, yet I am incredibly nervous in his presence. I speak too quickly, I can't complete sentences and I shake. It's really annoying and I wish it would go away. I've never had something like this happen with anyone else, especially lasting for 5 years. I would really like to be healed of this nervous problem around this guy. I don't even care about the attraction (if there is one) or care about talking to him. I just want to breath, and get my purchase and relax, rather than obsess over how stupid I just made myself feel.If you've ever had this happen, or have professional experience..please help!
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xzibit33  +, writes (22 January 2014):
 Although you're older than I am, I have seen these cases quite often. There is no problem with fidgeting around former crushes, the problem comes when you become sexually attracted to them. Trust me, that's a very grave mistake and you shouldn't let it get to this stage. Just be confident and think of him as in the friend zone.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 January 2014):
 I think your mind is making far more of this than anything else and you seem to have built up a kind of obsession over seeing this man.
We all get school girl crushes from time to time but usually our logical brain just allows reason to take over and we move on and foget and not allow 'strands' of 'weird and fanciful' thoughts drag on and on.
Is there some reason that you HAVE to see this guy or be around him? Can you not avoid him and shop elsewhere?
Some people do make an impression on us but irrational thinking and over thinking can make more out of that impression than is reasonable.
Really it means nothing, he obviously doesn't care what you think of him, he probably enjoyed the bit of flirting and takes what he can get and says thanks very much.
If you cannot act normally around him, just avoid him...quite simple really.
...............................
|
