A
female
age
36-40,
*bbie*23
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. Living together for 3 years. A couple of months ago I seen on our internet history he had been looking at escort websites. I confronted him about it and he said he was just curious and liked looking at the photos of girls on there. I know he looks at porn and I'm sort of ok with this. I believed him over the escort sites as I know he would never do this. He promised to stop looking at these sites as I was so upset. A couple of days ago I picked up his phone (to phone mine as I couldn't find it). As soon as I unlocked the screen, an adult dating site appeared. Again he gave the same response about his being curious and wanting to look at the photos. He was in tears when I confronted him about this. Other than this we are so happy together. We've been talking about getting married and having kids. I can't understand why he keeps looking at this sort of sort. Am I being naive in believing his excuses? I really don't know what to think anymore
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female
reader, motherhen +, writes (13 September 2010):
Hi Sweetheart,
Dont marry this guy. If you are ok with him looking at porn but you have told him how upsetting you find him looking at prostitutes, then he carries on doing it what does he really think of you? It is so disrespectful!!!
He obviously puts his selfish (it is only him wanking over this -right?) sexual needs before your needs, and has proved that he wont change.
At least you know now before throwing your life away on him. My husband knows that i am totally fine with porn but HATE prostitution, yet chose to look (and maybe touch - who knows?) at on-line escorts many times. When we said our marriage vows i never heard anyone say "i promise to love you, respect you, and foresaking all others except prostitutes be faithful to you".
Although to be honest I wish he had so i would not have made the huge mistake I did and bring my children into a terrible situation.
Trust your instincts and know that you are worth so much more.
God Bless you darling xxx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 February 2010):
Get rid of him. He doesn't love you enough and isn't worth your time
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A
female
reader, cry  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 well i think hes loosing intrest in you ....to be straight forward with you. things get old after four years and your both still young.you need to freshen up ur relationship
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A
male
reader, lifeisshort +, writes (27 February 2010):
Guys can be in happy realtionships and still want to hook up with girls. It's one thing to fantasize about doing it which you BF might just be doing that if we take his word for it but even that could very well lead to him to cheating later on when the fanstasy just isn't enough. The closer and more serious the relationship grows, and it sounds like it is, the more he might be getting scared to settle down with one women and this fantasy to hook up with another woman may be increasing as a reaction. I can tell you this, he's not just going on those sites for the pictures, it's the fantasy f hooking up with another woman that has him going to them. Sorry.
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A
male
reader, FogMontblanc +, writes (27 February 2010):
Sweetie, listen. The boy can fantasize, but he'll never go for it. But, if you keep on his ass, he'll become resentful... If you want to try a different approach, ((though I'm afraid you're not one of these people)) ask him to look at the sites together, gather ideas on what he likes, and use it to play out a fantasy for him. Make him need you, but don't tell him what a horrible person he is. Porn is to look at, you're there for all the rest. Remember that. ^-^ ~*~*Fog*~
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