A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I found out last year my husband was seeing another woman, through his text messages, when I confronted him he refused to discuss it with me and text the woman to let her know I had read the texts and to expect me to ring, he told me he was doing this as he was texting her, the next morning he said nothing physical had happened, but judging by the texts I read he was lying, he then went out to the pub and was ringing and texting her, he said it was to tell her he didn't want a relationship with her but he left the next day, my daughter spoke to the woman and told her to stay away from her dad. The next day my husband rang her and then he rang me to say he didn't want me to divorce him ,but she told me she ended it!! So Ii felt like I was second rate!! Hhe said if I wanted to stay with him I should just forget what happened, but he has done this before when we were first married which he admitted to, then twice more, which he denied.He insulted me, told me she was good looking and that I was a freak because I couldn't stop hurting, he constantly hurled abuse and hurtful comments at me when I tried to talk about it. I know I should have put it behind me, but I couldn't, I thought he should have tried to make things right but he left and now I've asked for a divorce but he refuses. I would divorce him but don't know where he is living. I only know he's near or with her, he's been gone six months now.I still love him but can't get over how he hurt me and that he thinks in his words to be false and show remorse, how can I move on from him? I'm desperate to get on with my life. I'm so unhappy and very confused as to how I feel.Can anyone help me? I know I'm not making sense, I'm just so unhappy and confused. I don't know if I still love him, or if he ever loved me...
View related questions:
divorce, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): It's over. It's been over. We want to always believe, but once the trust is over, it's difficult to rebuild, and if he has a history of doing this, he isn't likely to change, and so you have to ask yourself, how many times am I willing to do this? Because it will happen again. He won't let you go, because he hasn't found anyone who wants to keep him, yet. He just wants someone to come home to when he doesn't have anything else up his sleeve or in his pants. Learn from it, don't be bitter about it, just understand all you have control of is YOU. It's time to let him go...in your head, your heart and as the husband he hasn't been. In time you will wonder why you waited so long. Expect hard times, but you can do it, and you know you can. Start doing lots of things for yourself. Be happy with who you are..you can't do that hanging on to him. V.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have to say in his defence, i constantly went on about what he had done,and gave him an ultimatum,point her out to me to prove it was over,or move out,he said he cant do that,as it would be setting her up,altho he knows i'm not,nor never have been the violant type,i pushed and pushed for him to prove it was me he wanted,till he left,he said he loves me,but i needed to let it go,and forget about it,but i couldnt,
...............................
A
male
reader, OmegaXF  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom + ?, writes (3 March 2009):
ArmyMedic agony aunt
"The years have not been wasted, if you've been married 23 years and had children etc, it's been time well spent, but now it is time to move on."
10claps
Don't take this abuse anymore. If he has done this more than 1 time that should have ended it there. Please move on with your life and forget about him.
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 March 2009):
 The years have not been wasted, if you've been married 23 years and had children etc, it's been time well spent, but now it is time to move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (3 March 2009):
I am sorry you have been treated so badly by your husband. What's the rush for a divorce? It's expensive you do it now through solicitors. Just sit back and wait until the time has elapsed when you can get divorced because of the length of separation. Get his name took off of any legal things to do with your home as proof that he is not there for when the time comes. Write will so that he is no longer your next of kin. As for you getting over things and moving on, well as its said time is a great healer.You will move on when you are emotionally ready. There is no right time but when the time comes you will know it. Heal first, acknowledge that you are worthy of more than he could give you, you will move on. I wish you every happiness. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Get a lawyer and SUE his ass for divorce, you don't need to know where he is, he'll surface sooner or later. Make sure you get every single cent that's coming to you and your kids. The guy sounds like a certifiable jerk. I think in the long run you will absolutely be glad you got rid of him.
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 March 2009):
By the way you have written this, he sounds very off hand about the whole issue. If for whatever reason I gave my wife reason to doubt me, I would be doing everything possible and even trying the impossible to get her back.
I honestly think the reason he is refusing a divorce is purely selfish and has nothing to do with wanting you back. Have you got legal advise on this
...............................
|
