A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The first part of the problem is that I like my best friend. He's been my best friend for a few years now and I don't know exactly how to tell him I like him, but I know I need to. The second part is that I just can't seem to get over my ex. I've tried everything i could think of and it just won't work. Really, I don't like him. He's mean and spiteful. But still, I keep dreaming about him and sometimes thinking about him when i really don't mean to. What do I do?
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 I agree with the poster below.I think you should hold off telling your best friend how you feel. I have a feeling you may only be looking for a way to forget your ex boyfriend.My ex did the exact same thing when we broke up. A girl took an interest in him and he started to like her after a couple of days of knowing her, soon after he found out it was a rebound becuase he felt lonely and actually didnt have any true feelings for her. I know you have known your friend for years, but becuase hes so nice to you, you will start having feelings and imagining him as your boyfriend, but your mind and heart do silly things to you when your in such a vulnerable position.You need to take time out for yourself. Forget boyfriends and start getting to know the person you left behind before you met your ex...yourself.Focus on going out with your friends,go the the cinema, have a bbq, beach party, go shopping and etc.Goodluck
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 I'm not trying to be offensive or anything but I'd hold back on telling your best friend that you like him because it seems to me that you are looking for a new crush to get over your ex boyfriend.
I think you need time on your own so that you can get your head together. Visualise putting your ex on a train and let the train drive off into the distance until he's a tiny speck. You need to draw a line in the sand and tell yourself that the relationship is over and whatever he does now is none of your concern.
It's very difficult, one of the most difficult things in life to realise that a relationship has reached an end. But with a bit of persistance, you will get there and then you'll probably think "Ugh! Why did I go out with him?!?" That's happened to me a few times even though at first I thought I couldn't live without him - probably the same as you're thinking. But you will make it :) I'm sure you're a very strong person.
I remember reading a poem once that said that after you've split up with someone, you should spend time getting to know the person you left behind, the person who knows you better than anyone - yourself.
So overall, I'd suggest that you spend time alone, find yourself again and don't say anything to your best friend until you know for sure that this is not a rebound and that it's not just you looking for someone to take your mind off your ex. It would be unfair if your best mate told you that they felt the same way and then a few weeks down the line you realise that you don't like him, and never did in that way, wouldn't it?
Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): Well, hon, you are still in a stage when "crushes" tend to rule. You may still have a "crush" on your other boyfriend, even though you do not really like him as a person. This is also normal. You have a good friend whom you like, but maybe not so "romantically". Well, my advice is to be friendly with your "friend" (does that sound funny?, ha). He may not be as "cute" or "sexy" looking as your ex, but, that is not the most important thing. The important thing is that he is your true friend and will be there for you always.
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