A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with someone for the past 3 years but found out 6 months ago that he has recently married. Because I love this person so much I agreed to be the other woman. I know that he loves me and he tells me all the time that it was a mistake moving in with her and marrying her because they have nothing in common. He said it wasnt physical but for companionship. Last night she found his phone so now she knows all about me. She knows where I live and work, has my telephone numbers but also has a lot of pictues of me. She even knows that he was texting me while they were on their honeymoon.He now doesnt want to know me and I am devastated!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): I hate to see another woman go through the exact same thing that I have been going through for the past year. I have been seeing a married man who 'claims' he never loved his wife and only stays because of his son and he doesn't want to give up his house and camper, etc. He strung me along for over a year telling me how much he was in love with me and I'm the 'one.' I also found out two months ago that he was seeing a coworker about 2 months before he met me. I was shocked to learn that I wasn't the first. I recently went through a rough patch in my life and leaned on him for support - it was too much for him to see me as needy (that's how his wife is) so he tells me that he can't do this anymore. I am so hurt and I feel so stupid for believing him and his lies. The thing is, he has told me this before and has always come back to me. The only difference now is that I will not LET him do this to me. When I really think about the situation, I am the winner here. She is the one stuck with a lying, cheating husband who will keep having affairs to make him feel good about himself. I wasn't the first and I know 100% that I won't be the last. So my advice to you, as hard as it may be to hear, is to let him go. Run! Do not look back because you're only going to keep getting hurt.
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Silly, maybe, but it wasn't all pointless. Now you are very clear where you stand and what will happen if you stay with this guy. You have to get away from this man now, and you know it. So go out and get your own life, away from this sleazebag. He'll only continue to cause you misery, and he doesn't care. Simple as that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your comments and support. I did the silly thing of seeing him again when he asked and one thing led to another............, he told me that he still loved me and couldnt be without me in his life, then he got a guilt trip and Ive not heard from him again in 5 days and his phone is switched off. Why do I kep chasing him??? I love him and he says he loves me but there is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I do believe he loves me but I am IN love with him and that hurts cos I think the only person he is in love with is his wife :-( xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): This time next year,hopefully you will be with a decent guy. He will be forgotten. Shit will never smell of roses. If he came to you,could you trust him?
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 Just re your update post on the 7th. I'm a guy who cheats on a beautiful wonderful wife with two other beautiful wonderful women so I'm speaking with experience and from the heart. It's true that you're not totally blameless but seriously he's the piece of sh*t not you. If it wasn't you it would have been somebody else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): hm.....thats why im here...
HIS WIFE JUST CALLED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!....We talked for like half an hour..I kept sayng I know nothing about it...and their baby was crying in the back..They have been married for 20 years and have 5 kids together!!!
WHAT A piece of sh*t am I....wow
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A
male
reader, baddogbj +, writes (23 July 2008):
If for whatever reason you actually want to sustain your relationship with this guy then you are going to have to find a way to back off for a while. He can't risk contacting you at all for weeks or months. He should have told you that he was getting married. You should have discussed in advance what you would do when your relationship was discovered as it inevitably would be. As always failure to plan makes these thing much more difficult.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI miss him sooooo much and it has only been a day without seeing or speaking to him. But then again for the past 3 years I have become used to seeing him and speaking to him numerous times a day and a constant stream of text messages.
Thank you for all you support, its good to know Im not alone with this and also good to know that I am not frowned upon xx
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 This guy is a Grade A jerk and I'm sorry to tell you this sweetie, but he did not marry the other woman, just for 'companionship' - because he had you, and honestly, you should be the one with the ring on your finger if thats way he was going to be.
This guy can't make up his mind and why have only one woman when he can have another girl on the side?
What a pig.
Go find someone else honey; someone unmarried, who wants only you and won't play with your feelings and your mind like this guy did.
Just leave him alone, you deserve much better. And if he contacts you again, tell him not to - he's married now; he said his vows and if he truly didn't want to be with this girl, he shouldn't have said "I Do!"
Take care
xo
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (13 July 2008):
I would find someone else. Why would you want to be in a situation like this, anyway? I think the only thing that makes it palatable to you was the fact that he seemed to prefer you. That may have been some consolation, but the fact that he doesn't want to see you any more now that the shit's hit the fan suggests to me that it was an empty consolation. He's married to her, and whether it's for the "companionship" or anything else, he wasn't in a position to give himself wholly to you. Don't settle for this kind of unsatisfactory arrangement. Go out and find someone with whom you can have a real relationship, not half a one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): Don't buy it, hon. He did not marry another woman and still "prefer" you. Get loose from this guy and his wife and the whole thing. He wants to keep "something on the side". That is an insult to you and don't take it! You deserve better..someone who wants only you...and don't settle for anything less. Sincerely, Tom
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