A
male
age
30-35,
*odLovesForever
writes:There is this very beautiful girl in my computer class, we both go to church, but not the same one and we both love God with all our hearts. One night before bed I asked God "if she is the one, Lord, I ask that you shine a golden light down upon her for me to see" and about a week later I saw a golden light fall upon her. Even with that I still have questions.Sometimes I have trouble talking to her and knowing what to say. I'm try to learn stuff about her at the same as her learning things about me, but it's complicated for me. I am 17 and she is only 14, I am only wanting to be friends with her for right now so advice to help me out here would be good. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GodLovesForever +, writes (30 October 2010):
GodLovesForever is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ok, my what's a few good ways to get her to want to know more about me or ask questions?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): And in answer to the being able to tell her about you at the same time as learning:i've notice with talking on MSN if you have a convo which goes like this:hihihow are you?good u?good.you are both left feeling awkward because you don't know how to keep the conversation going.i now end up having to expand on what i say so instead of good i now have to say "goood - except i have a ton of homework" then they ask what for etc... you just need to open it up leave places for her to ask obvious questions. make sure you dont fall into the male adolescent stereotype of one word answers of grunts. conversation should flow or else it seems forced i have already said it but once again be confident as you are older you need to be the one in charge:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): Thank you ladies for the advice.
@ Xxjojoba_noblexX: we do have friends in common, but her closest friend doesn't want to talk to me about her or get involved. How you said "secondly i don't know what you talk about but make sure it isn't only about god, she may think that is the only reason you like to talk to her." I do not just talk to her about God. Sometimes I ask how her day went, if she's tired, or what she is doing that afternoon. I also ask questions about her to learn some stuff. How do I turn the tables to where she is interested in learning stuff about me?
And about what you said "thirdly age shouldn't matter if you two ever do go out. i have two friends who went out when one was 13 the other 16." My sister has a friend who is 13 and is dating a guy who is like 16 or 17. If God says that this girl is for me, then I don't care about anything negative anyone can say that could affect it. My mom thinks that something might happen because she is 3yrs 1mo and 2ds younger than me. The whole he said she said thing..I'm not like that, not only will I get to know her, but her parents and her friends.
GodLovesForever
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A
male
reader, GodLovesForever +, writes (29 October 2010):
GodLovesForever is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ladies for the advice.
@ Xxjojoba_noblexX: we do have friends in common, but her closest friend doesn't want to talk to me about her or get involved. How you said "secondly i don't know what you talk about but make sure it isn't only about god, she may think that is the only reason you like to talk to her." I do not just talk to her about God. Sometimes I ask how her day went, if she's tired, or what she is doing that afternoon. I also ask questions about her to learn some stuff. How do I turn the tables to where she is interested in learning stuff about me?
And about what you said "thirdly age shouldn't matter if you two ever do go out. i have two friends who went out when one was 13 the other 16." My sister has a friend who is 13 and is dating a guy who is like 16 or 17. If God says that this girl is for me, then I don't care about anything negative anyone can say that could affect it. My mom thinks that something might happen because she is 3yrs 1mo and 2ds younger than me. The whole he said she said thing..I'm not like that, not only will I get to know her, but her parents and her friends.
James
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A
male
reader, GodLovesForever +, writes (29 October 2010):
GodLovesForever is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ladies for the advice.
@ Denise32: I do not plan anything physical of that matter and I am aware of the rules and laws. I follow Gods law and His way of life and ask for His guidance.
@ Xxjojoba_noblexX: yes we do have friends in common, but her closest friend doesn't really want to talk to me about her. She probably just doesn't want to get involved in anything. My mom says that because I am 17 and she is 14 that I cannot even think of being with her, but my sisters friend is only 13 and she's dating a guy who's like 16 or 17. If God says she is for me I don't care what anyone else says. My mom thinks that something might happen...the whole he said she said thing and that her parents may do this or that. Well one I'm not planning on any of that stuff, I'm wanting to get to know her and her parents and many of her friends.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Well, why not continue trying to talk to her; ask her how her day went; what sort of things interest her, and so on and talk some about your own interests.
She is only 14 and far too young (and it would be illegal, besides) to get into anything physical, so its good that you are clear you just want to be friendly. Best to keep things light and casual at present.
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A
female
reader, angelalb +, writes (29 October 2010):
Invite her to your church. Or hold a bible study at your house and invite her and others. Maybee talk to one of her friends and not directly to her. Daniele
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): firstly have you got any friends in common... it will make it a lot easier to hang out with her?
secondly i don't know what you talk about but make sure it isn't only about god, she may think that is the only reason you like to talk to her.
thirdly age shouldn't matter if you two ever do go out. i have two friends who went out when one was 13 the other 16.
fourthly get some conversation starters which work every time:
her family, one of her hobbies, what she did last weekend - that kind of thing.
just make sure you don't look anxious be confident :)
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