A
female
age
26-29,
*esperate_4help
writes:I'm 15 years old. Yesterday i found out im pregnant. The father is not my boyfriend and never was. I have never been more scared in my life. My parents are divorced and I live with my dad because me and my mom don't get along. My mom is re-married and just had a baby a year and a half ago.. shes 43. Even though my mom and i don't get along i think that she will be more understanding then my dad. I know i have to tell them but i just don't know how. Im terrified because i think that they will kick me out or tell me to get an abortion. Ive been through alot and having a baby is only going to make things worse. However, there is no way i will get an aboriion or give my baby up to someone else. It was my mistake not the babies. I know that i wont be able to take care of the baby by myself and i know i ruined my life and possibly the babies. In only in grade 9 and the father is only in grade 11. We have our whole lives ahead of us. I never thought this would happen to me, but accidents happen. I need you help on how to tell my parents, what i should do about school, and any other advice.Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): to respond to that question saying having sex under 18 is illegal what kind of shit is that so you telling me you could go to jail if you are a minor having sex. get your facts straight dear the law is having sex with an under age person is illegal if you are an adult.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 You are like a baby in the woods. You need someone to take control and guide you of your future and that person is no better than your dad.
It is better to tell him earlier so that he can be prepared to deal with it.
Just wait for the right time when he is relax and tell him direct that you think you are pregnant.
I am sure your dad will do everything in his power to make your life more comfortable. That is what dad's are for.
Discuss your options with him .
Your problems may seem overwhelming and confusing but don't worry ,there is always a solution to every problems.
Take one step at a time and you will soon climb this mountain.
Everything happens for a reason .
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 You did not mention how many months you are already pregnant!
1 month baby in our belly is already a new life. But" If its in max.1 month you still have a chance without a guilt to take it out or abort. But if you are willing to go on with this baby then you must be very very smart now to think, how to talk to your parents about this, how to find money on your own because your mother just got a baby and your baby is not 100% your mother's responsabilities. maybe she will help you a bit but you know that she have also a little baby right now. You will have to work now NIGHT and DAY.. If you are strong enough to plan for the future, then be it.. I just wish you all the best and good luck..
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): mima i have to disagree it is yoru opinion fetus do not have a life till 4 months but not everybodys for example roman catholics believe that life begins at conception . others when the heart starts beating when the baby takes it first breath then are many different views. Many teenage parents exist and do a fatastic job of raising their child better than some adults do in fact . if you cant face telling your parents tell a teacher first they will help a lot .
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reader, marie jane renshaw  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 well having sex under age is illegal but at the end of the day its your choice. many under age people have babies at your age and they are not with the fathers, i know its not the same but i was scared of telling my parents i was pregnant at the age of 19,but i sat them both down and explained what had happened and yes they were mad for a while but i told them that it was my choice and i wanted to kepp my baby and i would make a brilliant mother. i applied for a flat with a housing company,and when i moved to my flat i applied for housing benefit which means because i had no income coming in i got all my rent paid for me,i applied for child tax credits and child benefit which all together is enough to live on.when your parents calm down they will be there for you and im sure you have friends and other members of your family will be more than happy to help you.and as for school you need to inform them that you are pregnant and they will help you arrange your time off,work you will be missing out on,and when you can return to school.if you need more help on getting information on what you are entitled to then speak to someone at citezen advise and they will help you.
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reader, sammi star +, writes (23 February 2010):
 I've been checking this question regularly as it's very close to home for me and I wanted to see what advice you were getting.
I have to say i strongly disagree with Denise32. I understand her thoughts and opinions, it's the way many people feel about teen parents. I quote 'how on earth do you think you can raise a baby' I did it, supermum (who posted an earlier reply) did it and there are so many teen parents that are doing it everyday and making a fantastic job of raising their children.
Another quote 'having a baby is great when it is planned and 2 parents are involved' Well it can still be great even if you didn't plan that baby and you're doing it on your own! I won't deny it's extremely hard work and sure, there are times when you just want to be doing what other kids your age are doing but the love you have for your baby keeps you going and I know I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back in time.
I always maintain that your age does not determine how capable you are as a parent. I'm not claiming to be mother of the year but I provide for my daughter, she is happy and healthy and turning into a fantastic young woman with good manners and morals, while just along the street from me there are parents who are much older and married and yet their parenting leaves a lot to be desired!
Ultimately the decision is yours hun and only you know if you are capable of raising a child or not. Don't let people tell you that you can't do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): First of all, congratulations. Your baby is a miracle and was placed in your life for a reason. He doesn't give anyone anything that they cannot handle. You will be strong through this, and in time you family will be strong with you; after they can realize too, that your baby is a blessing in disguise.
It is never an easy thing to do, telling your parents. Especially because they are divorced. I am not trying to shove the whole 'God' thing down your throat or tell you what to do, but I am going to share my experiences. When I was 16, I was in the 10th grade and I became pregnant. I was absolutely terrified, and I didn't want to tell my boyfriend at the time, nor my mother. My parents are also divorced, and my father lives on the other side of my state. I told my mother, and my exboyfriend, and I decided to have it aborted. It is something that always follows me, but I have learned to live with my decisions. I always wonder about the joy my life could have, even though it would have been hard. I just think that it would have been worth it. I was a coward back then, but I don't think you are a coward, dear.
Also, your life is not ruined, and neither is your child's. This is a new path that He has set you on, and it will be a beautiful one! Do not ever think that a life is ruined because of another life in it.
You will find the strength to tell your father, and to ask for his unconditional love and support. I think that you should tell your father first, because you are closer to him. Then once he is understanding, you both can tell your mother together. Who knows? This baby could bring your family closer than ever and mend your relationship with your mother. Aunt/Unlce and Nice/Nephew can grow up together, maybe even in the same home.
I think that you should tell your father in a calm and mature manner and think of things that really come from your heart. You are very vulnerable right now, and I wish that I could extend my help to you more.
Many prayers from the Sun Shine State, Dear!
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reader, Denise32  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 Well, you're going to have to tell them, one way or another and face the music. I know this is devastating for you. You're far too young to be having a baby.......even so
unprotected sex is apt to lead to a baby. I am so sorry you are in such straits......
No, it's not the baby's fault, but how on earth do you think you could raise a baby on your own, devoting the next twenty years to his/her upbringing with all the expense; not being able to go out with your friends (or not very often, and having to find and pay a baby-sitter when you do); taking the baby to the pediatrician, buying food, clothes, diapers; kindergarten.......getting through sleepless nights, and on and on? It will be MUCH more difficult than you realize. Notwithstanding the fact that you will love your child.
Having a baby is great when two parents are involved and when it's planned for.
I'm sorry you have got yourself into such a pickle (with the assistance of the father, of course) and you are understandably very scared as to how your parents will react.
Another thing: do you expect your mother or father to raise the baby? Why should they? They brought you up and your siblings, if you have brothers or sisters. Their job is done, so to speak.
It may be that giving the baby up for adoption is going to be what's best FOR THE BABY. You say you would never do that - and if you were, say, 25, finished school and had a good job, plus a loving and committed partner, I'd tell you to keep the baby and bring him/her up together. You would be much better prepared.
As it is, you MUST think of what's in the little one's best interest, and that has to have priority over your feelings of wanting to keep it, as painful and wrenching as giving your child up for adoption may be. Sometimes, I believe, a Mother can still keep in touch with the adoptive parents and even see the child from time to time. You might want to consider that.
Once again, I know you are very frightened and overwhelmed by your pregnancy and I hope your parents will be understanding and helpful in doing what's best for you and for your baby.
THEN you continue in school, get a good education and eventually a good job.
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reader, mima  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 Hi dear,
If my sister should confide in me with your kinda situation, i will boldly help her get rid of it in only one condition, that next time, she stays off guys for in any similar case, i would rather tell her off. as i understand, u dnt have a sister to go to for that shuda been a better option than going to ur mum i think. i have realized that parents do all they can to help u out of these kinds of situations but they tag u with the brand and never forget a silly mistake u made. some r able to hide it but a large number of them dont. sometimes they feel so disappointed in u.
there is no one that is better than ur mum. besides, this is a gal affair and mum shud knw better than dad so tell her and she shud promise u never to tell anyone even your dad and i know she wud keep ur secret. and u have to be remorseful and sorry for the MISTAKE.
well, i think getting rid of the baby is a better option for we have a safe way to that thanx to technology. with the use of mifeprex process (visit a doctor), ur safety is ensured. u wudnt want a baby at ur age, blv me it will disorganize ur life 4eva. n u wudnt want ur blood in an orphanage or for adoption like something unwanted. if the pregnancy is less than 8 weeks, u r safest.
Fetus dnt have life till in their fourth month so U R NOT MURDERING ANY LIFE HERE. it is lifeless. remember DOING A RIGHT THING AT A WRONG TIME MAKES THE WHOLE THING WRONG. AND ONE WRONG DOING AT A BAD TIME, MAKES EVERY SUBSEQUENT THING HAPPEN AT THE WRONG TIME. Its just like waking up toooooo late. u find out the day ends with your activities still hanging wrongly.
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reader, sammi star +, writes (23 February 2010):
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this hun, I know pretty much how you're feeling, I was pregnant at 16 and also didn't get on with my mum. We had a terrible relationship and she'd thrown me out of the house several times, but she was the first person I wanted when I found out. If you feel you can't tell your mum to her face, write her a letter. It's only natural that her initial reaction will be shock and upset, maybe even anger, but ultimately this will pass and she will want to do everything she can to help you, you're her daughter after all.
If you're sure you want to keep the baby (as you say you do) then you need to work on getting out of this mind frame that you've ruined your life and the babies. I completely understand why you'd be feeling that way but as someone who's come through the other end I can tell you that doesn't have to be the case. If you can provide a loving, caring environment for your baby then you're already half way there.
I don't know how much of a support network you'd have available to you but you will need your friends and family around you and I'm sure there are ways you can carry on with your education.
Have you told the father? Maybe his family would be willing to play a part in this babies life.
If you want to pm me, please feel free to do so anytime, I really hope everything works out for you.
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reader, supermum +, writes (23 February 2010):
 The best thing you can do is write it down. I was 15 when i got pregnant, and i knew i wouldnt be able to tell my parents myself. Pick the parent you feel most able to tell, and one morning, before school, leave a not for your parent. Hopefully, they will have calmed down before you get home. Alternatively, find a teacher at the school you can talk to. They will be able to help you with telling your parents, they might even be able to do it for you. All the best hunni, keep us updated. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): Well if your not getting rid of the baby or giving it away what are you going to do with the baby?????!!!!! I think you should tell the boy that got you pregnant and of couse your boyfriend as this is VERY unfair on him, not only cheating on him you have gone and got yourself pregnant!!! I dont feel sorry for you one little bit,I feel sorry for your baby and boyfriend. This is why they made condoms for goodness sake I wish young people weren't so bloody stupid and used one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): first off i think that you are very mature for your age. and i would suggest you and him and both of your parents his parents to should sit down and discuss the matter before anything is said let it be known that you dont want to be judged or yelled at because the situation is not going to go away.let your parents know that you have already agreed that abortion or adoption is not one of your options .make it known that you are not coming forwarth for an opinion but the support of two parents.u and your mom might not get along but believe me she wouldnt tradevyou for anything she loves you and i guarantee that she will love her grand baby just as much. everything will be fine sweetie and i commend you on your decision not to get rid of your baby. goodlucl sweetheart
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