A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’m 27 and the other week had sex for the first time. I’m not religious so I wasn’t waiting for marriage, I just didn’t find the right guy to sleep with while I was dating…and in the past guys left me because I wouldn’t give in to sex early on in the relationship.The guy I slept with is my bf of 5 months. Because I remained a virgin for so long I had started to be a bit scared of what it would be like, whether it would change our relationship, if I’d be scared and so on. But on the night it happened, I was completely comfortable with him, I enjoyed myself and he was really gentle with me and respectful. Our relationship hasn’t changed a bit and the whole thing just feels like a natural progression. Should I be feeling different about all this since it was my first time? I don’t feel like ‘oh my god I did it' or anything like that…is something wrong with me? If someone asked me to describe my first time I’d say I was comfortable, trusted him and didn’t have a care in the world and I don’t regret it one bit…I’d say it was right. I’m just after some opinions. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenneth +, writes (7 December 2009):
Go for it girl and build on the other parts of the relationship. Have fun!
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Everything was just fine. Most importantly you were comfortable about it and that just makes it better.
But know you do not have to be religious to wait till marrage. Some research indicates that "the first one" creates a special unified type of connection or bond between the two people especially when it's the first time for both of you. It is said that's why these marriages seem to last longer.
Either way seems like your done good so no worries :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 December 2009):
No, quite the opposite. In fact, it shows you were ready and you lost it to a person you were happy with and who you know cares about you.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 December 2009):
It's the same with most things... the build up to it is so intense that when it's all over you are left with a massive anti-climax.
The important thing is that you are happy with how it turned out and with sex, it's something that gets better and better with practice.
Have a think about what kind of contraception you want to use now you are going to be doing it regularly. Go and have a chat with the family planning people.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (7 December 2009):
 rite of passage was the phrase I was trying to think of.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (7 December 2009):
I found virginity (or losing it) to be a really anticlimatic feeling ; for some reason, even though I'm not religious either, I still felt like I'd feel 'changed' in someway, like passing through to another step in womanhood, or..some kind of milestone, but once it was all over with, I didn't really see the deal. I guess it's mostly what religion and pop culture build it up to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Your reaction is completely normal for you, that is all that matters, it sounds to me that you are on the right track and you feel secure, more so than other women who just do it with anyone to get it over with, because you built a solid foundation for your relationship first.
Great going!
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (7 December 2009):
You probably think that your reaction and feelings to have sex for the first time arent normal because typically people are younger when they have their first time sex, so therefore they are more emotionally immature etc...which can lead to all sorts of other problems. I think how you are feeling is a good thing and probably just shows how mature you are and that you made the right decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): No nothing is wrong with you. It might just be that he is the right one for you and are so comfortable with him that it didn't bother you. i know my first time i felt really bad about it. but i'm glad you don't.
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