A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Today I went to the grocery store to shop for food. My mom and sister came along. While I was standing behind my mom while she was paying the cashier. There was this stranger that took a look at me and told his friend quietly that he was standing next to a ugly girl. He kept on turning around and saying crap about me to his friend like telling secrets, and looking back at me.(when he did that it reminded me of middle school like when girls talked crap about other people). I could clearly hear what he was saying about me. Then he changed into this language that I could not understand.I knew that he was still saying negative things about me. Then he continued to stare at my face like I was a museum exhibit. How rude! I could feel that he was staring at me so I looked up at him, and then he immediantly turned and continue to talk to his friend about how bad I looked. I knew that this guy kept on telling his friend about my acne scars on my face. Then he turned around and looked at me up and down like he was judging me. I was about to say something to him, but I was afraid that I would cause a big scene in the grocery store, and he was taller and bigger than me. When this jerk did those things to me it made me feel very uncomfortable,angry, and I felt like I was going to cry. When I got home I actually cried my eyes out of what this jerk did to me. This jerk does not even know me and he criticized me. I never felt so humiliated, and, hurt in my life. From this point on, I never want to go out again. Not even with my family because of what this jerk said about me to his friend. I don't even feel like eating anymore. Now I am scared to go out because this similar situation might happen to me again. My sister and my mom don't know that this happened to me. I don't want to tell them. What should I do? I am not on drugs. Of what this person did to me, I feel like I lost a little bit of my self esteem and confidence. I have been bullied all of my life and it is not a good feeling. I really hate of what this jerk did to me and his friend. Help me please. What should I do?
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acne, bullied, confidence, drugs, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Hi there!
what you should do is understand that everyday some jerk pisses somebody off for no good reason, and there is nothing we can do about it to stop them opening their ugly mouths. but we can change how those jerks make us feel, never ever stop living your life because of a jerk,do the opposite live your life to the full be the best you can be, grow !grow! grow!. The only ugliness around this world is people like them, they are losers and will never be any other and if you want to stop all your fun for people that are of no use to this planet other than fertilizer that is up to you. But i hope so much that you wipe your tears that are wasted on their ugly words, put a smile back on your face, start eating again and do go out with family and friends. Please be aware that you may hear negative things like this again but do not fear it, BE READY, with a big smile, sing,whistle, laugh or walk away, never stay and listen or believe people like these .show them that they can not harm you because you are too bright, and too busy having fun to listen to thier rubbish. Please listen to the aunts and uncles words on here.
A
female
reader, KiaGrace  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 It's very unlikely that you will ever see this guy again, so I say move on and ignore it. Nobody has perfect skin. Everyone gets embarassing pimples and acne! It's a part of life. So what the hell was he snickering about? I'm sure he is bitter and lonely, and without a girlfriend himself.
I understand why you are feeling the way you do. I know I would feel the exact same way, but, why do you care about his opinion? Just try to forget all about it.. and if you ever see him again, slap him across the face!
Keep your head on your shoulders, there girl.
Best of luck, always! 3
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 What a nasty piece of work he must be. All it says it that he is really not a nice person. Ignore him, its not because of you, its him he just doesnt know how to act in the real world and was showing off to his mate.
I have a few acne scars on my cheeks and my husband says they are cute. They do still bother me a bit especially in photos but I have recently started to use a home mircrodermabrasion kit and they are noticeably less obvious after only four weeks.
Just go out and hold your head up high x
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (10 July 2008):
 It can be very hurtful of course, but what does it say about him? This is not about you but really about him. It reflects the child he is. He is feeling bitter because he cannot date women and therefore his best strategy is to put ladies down. I had a bit of the same at your age but if you let it get to you then he has won! I bet he wasn't George Clooney right? So, who cares what this sad man in the shop thinks eh? He needs to get a life and stop bothering you, but sooner or later he will have it coming back to him...karma!
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A
male
reader, buster +, writes (10 July 2008):
Hi.......the worst thing you can do in life is let these types of people get you down. I know nasty comments hurt us all and make us question why WE should be picked on!
I used to have acne at school, now i have some of the best skin of all my friends....over ten years later. If you let it get you down, you will hide away, feel sorry for yourself, eat rubbish and give these people more fuel for their fire!
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and come out fighting!( not literally!)..... what are you going to be doing in a few years time?....you can look how you want and be what you want.......the man on the other hand will probably still be at the grocery store insulting people.Whos the loser?!
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Sounds to me like the jerk has bigger problems than you. He's quite clearly crippled inside, which is a lot worse than acne. You should feel pity for him. What kind of life can the poor guy lead with an internal deformity like that?
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (10 July 2008):
 What complete and utter bloody... I can't even think of a word for it. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such morons, and I can understand why you reacted the way you did.
Talk to your mum and your sister about it - it'll do you good to have someone to rant to and cry on, and there's no-one better for that than your mum.
Also, keep in mind that he is exactly what you said - a complete and total jerk. In most other circumstances, you'd not take the opinion of someone like that into account, right? So try your best not to do it now. It's hard to 'just ignore it' with a situation like this, but just continue to remind yourself that ultimately, he's just one insignificant little boy trying to get his kicks by being an ass.
Try giving your self-esteem a boost in the meantime. Make a list of everything that you like about yourself - even little things like 'I have really clean fingernails' or 'I have nice eyelashes'. This works twofold - it'll help program you to focus on the positive, and the creative thinking will take your mind off any snide comments.
Don't let one loser get you down!
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Don't get discouraged over what someone else says. These guys are just jerks. It was wrong for them to say. Some people see it as a game to make others feel bad. Don't take it in as being truth. What other people say really doesn't matter. What does matter is how you view yourself. I don't care what other people say about me. I have a strong character. I'm a good person. No matter what anyone else says isn't going to change the high level of respect I have for myself.
Remember not to allow yourself to be damaged over the stupidity of others.
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A
female
reader, PractiGal +, writes (10 July 2008):
 What you do is realise that someone who'd vocalise his thoughts like that is probably mentally deficient, and instead of feeling bad for yourself, you feel sorry for him and his scary little world.
Really, take a deep breath and think about it: do you know this guy? Do you really care about his opinions? Would you ask him to recommend a cracking good book to you? How about asking him to suggest a restaurant or a movie?
I'm guessing your answer is something along the lines of "Probably not; what are you getting at, woman?"
Just this: his opinion -- right, wrong, insane, in English, in a foreign language -- isn't important. Don't sweat it. You don't care what brand of cola he prefers, or whether he's a Kylie Minogue fan, so why would you give any concern to his other ideas?
Sometimes you go out, minding your own business, and end up in the crosshairs of a weirdo. It's not fun, but not the end of the world. There are people in the world who don't have social skills, or who are severely damaged. Just be glad you weren't the person he was talking to! (Can you imagine the bizarre world you'd live in, if a person like that was your companion?)
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