A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi...i am wondering how many of you have married someone who is of a different religion than you are? If you did, how long did it last? Were there any major issues? My fiance and I are of two different religions and I can't imagine what it would be like once we were married and had kids.What about the children? What did you decide to do about raising them in a single religion? I wouldn't want them to be unstable and not know what they believe, that is worse than trying to decide what to do...I am so confused. The future of our children is what is going to worry me the most. I want them to have a stable home-life and if our religion is split into two religions how can that be?He doens't want to convert and I can never imagine myself leaving the religion in which i believe. I was raised this way and honestly believe in it with all of my heart...Also, I would like to know how most of you feel about religion...what is your religion of preference (if any at all) thanks so much.I am so scared to get married because I don't know how long we can last if neither of us convert. I do love him and there is no way that i want to leave him over this issue. I can't imagine myself living without him...
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle  +, writes (29 May 2008):
A maybe simple solution would be if you did marry him and have kids, you bring your kids up with 2 religions and let them choose which one/both/none or different religion they would like to accept.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): It seems you answered your own question. I would have said, you have to choose which you love more "him or your religion." It seems you pick him since you can't live without him.Let me tell you my standpoint on religion. I was raised to believe that all religions share the same fundamental truths. Because of this I believe Religion isn't God, or the full truth, but human interpretation of it. In the end arguments of religion or petty and truly an egotistical way to argue on who is right. With that being said, my parents got divorced when I was 4 years old. I lived with my mom that was religious, but more in the sense of spiritual believe in God, gods, supreme beings and so forth. My father on the other hand was more fundamental Christian but wasn't very religious in the sense that he didn't go to Church every Sunday etc. etc. He also believed in some things that my mom did and they could find some middle ground. BUT many times my mom said my father wasn't open minded and from my fathers side of the family they would say bad things about my mother's beliefs. You both believe in a higher power, so you have some common ground there. Ask yourself if you are open enough to accept other realities without thinking they will disrupt your core belief. You don't have to change/convert but some blending never hurt. Talk with it to him about it. See how he feels about his religion. And let me stress Religion is NOT God, it is humankind's interpretations of God. If religious tensions are not going to disrupt your love for each other, it it isn't going to be a huge issue, if you can both worship how you choose, maybe with a compromise here and there, then I would say to totally go for it! It sounds like the love you describe is the real stuff, and hard to come by.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): The trouble will come if one of you insists on being "right" and says the other is wrong. If you can, all you need to do is accomodate and be interested in the teachngs of each other's faith. There would be trouble if behaviours are imposed by one person on another. Marriage is about accepting the oerth person as who they are and with love you can influence each other. If anyone imposes they cause resistance. You should have a chat with the local religious leaders before you marry. Maybe all together. You may find them accomodating.
...............................
A
female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 It depends which religions you both are in. it is worse if none of you is in any strong belief of God. there are good religions and bad religions.. for instance i have a friend who is a Christian and is married to a Muslim, neither of the 2 has ever been compromised to change. Infact, they practice the good values of both religions. Strangely enough, all the children by the age of 10years want to become Christian (this may not apply to your future children) on the other hand if you strongly believe that at one time this will compromise your believe in God which is much more important than your fiance, tell God to give you a sign and not get into the marriage only to divorce when children are involved. It depends on what religion yu both are in.. i beleive Christians believe not in converting others into being Christians but through their actions that influence others. I am still dating this guy who is not of any religion and worst still believes in no God apart from himself and it really rocks our relationships. many times i have had to cry myself throught the night wondering why my bf does not acknowledge the existence of God despite all the wonders that He has done for him... i at times think that he is sent from doom but the good thing is that i am hoping that one day he shall accept that there is a supreme God and that its not religion that is important but actually accepting that there is a supreme being besides you. Tonight i shall pray for you and i that God shall reveal what it is that He really wants in the relationships. all the same just know that it is not religion that will take us to heaven but our actions and deeds. if he is a good man and only from a different religion do not throw it away.. the important thing is that you know who he is and his religion practices values and promotes peace. your children can learn the values of both religions and do so by learning each others religion without despising the other. your children shall come to choose which religion based on the truth that has been revealed to them by the loving God. all the best.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 May 2008):
 your last line answered your question. with all the help i have give others, many different religions, several countries, what I've noticed is "love" has no boundaries. neither one of you has to change your religion. at the same time, it's not okay to attempt to force the other into believing something different. as far as the children are concerned, their may need to be some compromising. when they grow up, they can choose their religion. just remember, your relationship with God is personal. take care, and best wishes.
...............................
|
