A
female
age
36-40,
*penn_09
writes:I recently started taking ballroom classes, I met this guy at the class whom I felt very attracted to but he's 10 years older than me. NEways.We hung out outside of class, we went dancing a few times and I took him to my sorority formal, then I found out about a small scale dance competition to which I asked him if he'd be my partner and he said that he would help me out. At the time I asked him we were both still busy with final exams at the University so we decided that once we were both out we could start looking for a place where we could practice whenever for as long as we wanted, but knowing that he had work and that we still had about a month of school left I started calling around and I found some places and I e-mailed him asking him if he was still interested in competing, to which he replied "yeah I'm still as crazy about it as you are", then my last e-mail gave him an update of the places that had agreed to let us practice but I was supposed to see him that night in class, so when he didn't replied I didn't make much of it.Now it's been 3 weeks and I have not heard from him and he's stopped going to class obviously he is not interested in it anymore but how do act? I mean I'm def. not happy about the fact that he let me go through all of that for almost a month and that I turned down a potential partner because he said he'd help out.Also, one night at the studio's dance party he introduced me to a "FRIEND" but I immediately felt some tension between me and her, but nevertheless I tried to strike conversation but then I left and I restrained from dancing with him as much I could. Later when they left, she didn't even come to say bye, she stood by the door while he said bye.He's already paid a month's worth of classes I'm sure he'll drop by sooner or later with his "FRIEND" as his new dancing partner, but how do I act, obviously I'm not going to throw a tantrum at him, I have no reason to ask for explanations (i.e if he's no interested, that's the bottom line, I don't need explanations), but I'm really pissed and I don't want to make a fool out of myself, how should I act/approach this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): That does sound frustrating.
But he seems unreliable. It's better that you found out now rather than later when you had spent lots of time practising with him.
You have the places to dance so try and find another partner... Is the offer you turned down still available? I'm sure they would understand why you said no and why you have changed your mind now.
He let you down... But Isabeela is right, It's his lose.
Good Luck. X
A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Hi,
yes i understand that it can be quite frustrating...but its his loss.
Try punching a pillow to let off a bit of steam....better still if you have a friend you can rant on a bit..its helps..
try to forget..its not worth your energy.
Hope the dancing is going well for you.
Take care..
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A
female
reader, Upenn_09 +, writes (28 May 2008):
Upenn_09 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hmmm it all makes sense.. I think that I should try to just get over my frustration first (boxing anyone?) so that I can get over it.
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974 +, writes (28 May 2008):
Hi there,
until i read paragraph 5, i already came to the conclusion that he must have someone, a girlfriend etc as this would explain his behaviour. So i think this so called "friend" must be more than just a friend, thats the way it seems to me.
Yes he should not have messed you about like this, but dont dwell on this to much, you will find out in time whether he is with someone. I would suggest finding someone else as a dance partner and move on, if he wants you bad enough he should make the effort. What do you care if he turns up with his "friend", there is more to this than meets the eye.
As to how you should react...if or when he shows up again, just be friendly (its the best defence) have another partner and dont give him a second thought. He has someone else or someone who he is involved with in some way and did not have the guts to tell you and she found out about it.
Take care
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