A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my husband for over 10 years and married for 5, our sex life was fine up in till a couple of years ago we got a strap on dildo he wanted anal sex. lets put it this way i have never seen him like that before, he really enjoyed it. this was very strange and scared me, i though he was gay, after a lot of reasurance i tried to forget about it, i have had a few really bad dreams,it has started again it seems to be the only thing that he really enjoys. i have tryed talking to him he gets very embrassed, i do perform for him as i truly love him. he stops me from giving him what really does it for him for a while then it all starts up again, he gets really upset when i try and ask if he has fellings for men and he acts like it is the worse thing in the world to ask.i dont know what to think i really dont know what to think. it is really starting to affect our sex life as i find it a real turn off and cant stop thinking and wondering if he is bisexual or gay please help i would never want him to be unhappy and he really is unhappy at the moment is it becase he is lying to himself and me please answer asap thank you helpme
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anal sex, dildo, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Be glad that he has trusted you with this, I love stuff up my ass, I am not gay , but it turn's me on , if my wife found out, she would think I was gay too, ain't no way I would tell her,he told you, he must trust the hell out of you. Or maybe he just love's you more than I can imagine!!!!!!!
A
female
reader, uberpinkii +, writes (20 October 2008):
 im sorry but grow up, how an he be gay. im 17 and i know the difference between kinky and gay.
you must be a vanilla sex person.. hel be bored with you, plain and simple but wants to explore. LET HIM
you look so stupid to ppl, asking if hes gay.
You ask himif he likes men!!??
you wear jeans and baggy tops n trainers? are you a lesbian?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): I advise watching the film road trip, theres a few seens with the guy who played stiffler in American Pie that might explain why he wants this. I personally never want anything going in my ass unless for strict medical purposes and even then I'd wanna be watchin' girl on girl porn just to ease my worries. But hey, if he enjoys it and he loves you fair enough, but maybe like yer man said, you should suck him off and use your fingers. Might work out the best. If he flat out refuses to shag you for your pleasure and just wants this 'ass thing' all the time then cut him off, remember, your the one with the big fake dick.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): He gets upset when you ask him if he is gay because he thinks that because he gets excited with a dildo up his ass, he may really be gay, and he finds this thought repulsive. I doubt he is gay. What is probably happenning is the backside of the prostrate is easily stimulated from inside the rectum and is quite erogenous. Try this, the next time you give him head, make sure he is standing, and gently slide one or two fingers up his ass to massage the backside of his prostrate. You can also simultaneously stimulate the front with your thumb. If I'm right, I think you'll help him find a new favorite fetish that you can enjoy too. Let us know how it goes!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 From your post, I'm not sure if I can conclude that he isn't having sex with you. Apparently all he wants is to be penetrated. If that is the case, he might not be gay but you are indeed in big trouble. He would be doing something that many men down here would never even suggest doing, but he would actually also be refusing to have sex with you.
I understand your concerns here. Even if he does please you, this sounds very strange. Maybe I'm not the best person to give you an opinion because I know that, in my books, no straight man does this. I would also be left not knowing what to do or think.
He also refuses to talk about the matter, which makes it worse. He has touched a raw nerve and will not acknowledge it. He knows that you suspect he's gay but won't discuss it. He also knows that, if he were gay, you would wonder why the relationship exists. But his answer is "do as I say".
Sometimes I'm too impulsive and blunt and I'm afraid this would be one case I would act like that. I think the best I can tell you is to really stop him and ask him to give you an explanation, instead of just brushing you off.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 It has nothing to be with being gay, you'll be pleased to hear. For some straight men, it's a very pleasurable sensation as well as being a turn on.As for it being the center of what he wants sexually: that might be because it is fulfilling something he has wanted for a long long time but only (relatively) recently gotten. It is possible to have too much of a 'good thing', over time I'd expect him to broaden his focus again. I do suggest talking to him about it 'til he gets over his embarrassment and can do so openly and easily. You might also consider having it as a 'treat' that he gets in exchange for you getting what you want sexually... which could just be plain old vanilla sex if that's what you're looking for.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (15 September 2008):
 Just because he likes anal sex with a strap on doesn't mean he's gay!I know shed loads of loads of guys that like the feeling, but they wouldn't get with a guy. Thats like saying a woman that likes oral done on her is a lesbian. Thats completely ridiculous sorry.C xxxxx
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