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We were best friends who tried to have a relationship. It didn't work, our friendship suffered and I'm confused whether we should try again as lovers?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 September 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

it's this guy that I kinda used to be bestfriends with.me and him used to sit on the phone all morning.Like 12 00 until 6 00 in the morning!we used to talk about everything.he used to leave me voicemails saying that he loved me.a lot.we were so close that we claimed each other as bf/gf.we started a relationship but it felt like we were still friends.

it didn't feel like anything changed between us.i told him after a while that it he wasn't acting like a boyfriend because he wasn't and i told him that i didn't think our bf/gf relationship would go anywhere.so i decided to talk to someone else.then everything changed between us.he told me i was acting different.he was still claiming me as a gf.he got mad and i told him "i told you that it wasn't going anywhwere so we could remain friends"he did not accept,he distanced his self from me for a while.

when we talk it feels different.i know it might not be the same if we be close again but what should i do.not continue our friendship or i mean what should i do?

i feel like i want him as a friend and a bf now are we just confused?whats going on?please help?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have never hd sex with him at all.I would feel that it wouldn't go far if we were together.He really wanted to be with me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008):

Although it's important to be friends with your lover, it's not often a good idea to change a relationship from best friends to lovers. You know far too much about each other, warts and all! Loving a friend is one type of love, loving a boyfriend/girlfriend is a very different kind of love. The transition between the two is fraught with complications. Rebuild your friendship with this guy if you can - make sure he knows that's all it is. Boyfriends come and go until you find 'the one' (you will know, I promise), but you can't ever have too many friends. Be patient, he sounds pretty confused right now and it may take some time.

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A male reader, The Piglit United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2008):

The Piglit agony auntThere's some key questions here

Has the relationship so far been sexual or has it stopped short of that?

How would you feel about it becoming one?

Has he said how he would feel about it becoming one?

If the relationship were never to be sexual would that work for both of you

For some people the friendship/sexual relationship thing is an impassable barrier, for others, well you can't have one without the other.

Talk this over with him - that is one thing you don't have a problem with, and that means you have every hope of solving this problem.

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