A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I made a many bluders but the biggest blunder of all has costed me my health, sanity and job. I ended up homeless and dependent on vodka to wash away the pain. I've recovered in all with the exception of love. Is there a chance that the swan who I emotionally neglected and abused will open up her hardened heart to me again? I didn't know she was the best thing that ever happened to me until she was gone. This happened two years past. I had to hit rock bottom to wake up. I have the faith and will. Guidance is what I'm asking from everyone here. Grateful thanx. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SecretsSuck  +, writes (2 February 2011):
My ex did that to me and I still love him...... I think you should just be there for her and don't offer anything to her. Let her decide what she wants. If she does decide to give you a second chance then I think you need to have a long deep talk with her and lay everything out before each other and move forward. I hope that helped.
A
female
reader, crummyscreenname +, writes (2 February 2011):
If you really love her, live a better life and leave her alone. The last thing she needs is her ex who treated her badly coming around and complicating her life. Let her heal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Irreversible damage. Take it from an abused swan. Your friendship would be unwanted and snubbed. For your own good move on.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 It depends on how much she means to you and how deeply you truly feel about her. If you are sincere, then offer friendship instead. To be honest though, this most likely will get you nowhere, if you hurt her as much as I think you did, if you did indeed shatter her heart, I doubt she will feel anything towards you anymore, you can and should settle for friendship in anything and make it up to her. Other than that, you can do no more and you should try to move on.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Probably not, not if she has any self respect and dignity.
You may have changed your abusive ways, if you then good for you. But it's unfair and unkind to ask or want her to come back to you after you abused her. You may have changed your ways, but damage that has been done can't always be undone or repaired. Not every injury can be healed, or healing may require avoiding the one who inflicted the injury to begin with.
You should move on from her, let her go, in your heart, and learn from your past mistakes and put into practice your changed ways and newfound relationship skills to build a new healthy relationship and avoid all the mistakes that cos you that other relationship.
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