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I did something I regret... What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2011)
A female Singapore age 30-35, *innabin writes:

I did something that I really regret on web-cam a few months ago. It was with my internet boyfriend. I still can't believe I did that. Now that we've already broke up, all I can feel is regret. I'm still a virgin, never been a real relationship, kissed, touched or whatever couples do physically.

But I keep seeing myself as a slut since I've done that. I never feel really happy anymore. I cry everyday. I try so hard to move on and ya I move on a little but not fully. I always waking up feeling regrets. I keep wishing I could turn back time. I push away every guys who try to approach me. I wanna be as happy as before, as normal as before. I really don't know how. What should I do? I don't want to feel the same way for rest of my life.

View related questions: broke up, move on, still a virgin

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (13 May 2011):

The Realist agony auntYou need to realize that what ever it is that you did it doesn't make you any less of a person and it hasn't changed you. In my opinion there is nothing that you could do over that webcam that cause me to look down on you.

Realize that it isn't anywhere close to as big of the deal you are making and get on with your life.

Again, you are still the same you and nothing you did was even remotely wrong. Thats how you get over it.

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A female reader, Eyespy17 United States +, writes (13 May 2011):

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are not a slut for doing anything with a boyfriend you were with. I'm not sure exactly what you did, but I'm sure at the time you felt like you wanted to try it In a safe relationship - and that is okay!!

Look at it as a learning experience. And if you feel like you were emotionally coerced into it - then chalk it up to a minor mistake and a lesson for next time to make sure you never compromise your own desires / boundaries.

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A male reader, Sparta United States +, writes (13 May 2011):

Sparta agony auntYou are not a slut at all; you are young and like many young people; we either do things out of impulse or after being pressured by another. Many of these situations turn out to be mistakes. But this is part of being young, we make mistakes and a lot of them. It is how you move on now that will help you out. Just tell yourself that you will not ever do it again; learn from the experience and be better for the knowledge you now have. I myself have done some....not so great things on webcam. After to which I felt embarrassed and undignified because I've always believed the only person that should see my birthday suit is if I am with someone that I love. I got over this doing exactly what I said above. You cannot hold your mistakes over your head forever; getting from under them, accepting them and moving on to be better is the only way these doubts and bad feelings will go away.

Hope this helps :)

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