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age
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anonymous
writes: HiI'm 14 now and I'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend and met in December and started having a "thing" by February, in April we started dating. At first we decided on no oral sex or actual sex because he's almost 2 years older than me and is'nt a virgin anymore whereas I was. We dated and we got along really good, we had our differences and at first he was pressuring me, but when I explained to him that the reason I wouldnt do anything with him other than makeout was because I wanted to wait until I'm older not because he was'nt special. He stopped then and rarely brought it up, unless he was joking..By late June, early July I started thinking about going further with him, I loved him with all my heart and since he gave up so many things for me I decided to give him head. I never regretted it until September when my parents told me I'm moving across the country and probably won't ever see him again. Thats when we started fighting sometimes over the future because we were both scared. He does'nt have alot of money but he went to buy me a golden promise ring with my name and a heart on it, promising me that we're going to work things out, that Ill come visit summer holidays and he'll come in the winter.So the day before I left we went all the way and now that Im so far away from him I really miss him and I don't know what to do. Was it the rigth decision? Should we have waited? How do I make US work? since I love him with all my heart and i believe he feels that way about me too, what do I do?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 You should have waited. But no use in crying for spilled milk now. You and him will have a rough time ahead of you, and instead of pulling away, which would have probably been the best thing for both of you, you tried to get closer.
You are still 14, and he gave you a promise ring. Do you think you will stay with him forever? Is this boy worth all the heartache you will suffer?
You could try and stick to the LDR, but I warn you it will be rough. And as a teenager, life can change pretty fast, when you see your boyfriend next, he might not be the same as now. You could try it out for some months and see how good the communication is between you.
For some couples, a distance makes the relationship stronger. Perhaps it will be that way with you as well.
Now, you should read up on long distance relationships and tips and advice, and try and get a plan ready for how often and when you and your boyfriend have contact. That is the first thing to do, and try and have a lot of contact too. Then you need to find other ways of showing your love for each other than what you are used to. For example letters in the mail (for a cute surprise), sending each other random gifts, sweet texts etc, as well as keeping in touch regularly!
You can also not be a jealous person by nature if a LDR is going to work. You need to trust him completely, and trust that he wont cheat on you, and not question him about everything he does. Because you wont be able to know who he hangs out with and when, and he can't share everything of his life with you now that you are not around.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Yes, you should have waited but it's late to worry about it now.
Try to move on , don't set yourself up for disappointment, don't have too many expectations you can make it work. LDRs are always very difficult to handle and at your age much more so.
Life goes on. You'll love again .
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A
male
reader, hiro06  +, writes (11 November 2010):
There basically is not "us" and yes you should have wanted you are 14 and trust me you arent going to find in soul mate at 14 is rarely hardkt ever happens. Just realize that you are still young and we all have loved at least once and our lives and yours will come around again. You still have a long life ahead of you and you have a lot a growing up to do. No offense but most long distance relationship dont work out its the truth.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Yes, you should have waited till you were 16 to have sex..He had sex with a minor, which is illegal. He can go to jail for it and have to register as a sex offender.
But the deed is done, I suggest you wait till you are 16 because you can have guys sent to jail for having intercourse with you.
I know you're not going to like this, but it's best you moved on..Can either of you handle a LDR, you're rather young at 14? You need to touch, feel, kiss, hug your boyfriend..won't have any of that with a LDR. How often would you actually get to see him? Probably not enough. Let it go, and wait till you're of legal age to consent to sex. Lecture over.
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