A
female
age
41-50,
*ool Chick
writes:I think the guy I went out with was a sociopath:His whole life was a lie. Everyone believed it. It was the worst experience I have gone through. The first year of the relationship was fine. Then all of a sudden this guy turned into a monster. I didn't know what was going on. I could never figure it out. He would put me down all the time. Try to turn me against my friends and family. When I would talk to him he had no empathy. It was like talking to a brick. He showed no emotion. He would pretend to like things he didn't like. I realized he didn't like anything. He drinks and drives and sees nothing wrong with it. Cheated on me and it didnt even matter. I got rid of him and never plan on talking to him again. The problem is some of my friends think he is the best person in the world.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Hi!In my personal opinion, when relationships arent kept private and others are included in your business, this kind of thing can happen: A lot of different opinions and influence that can potentially cloud your judgment. I think it'd be wise for yourself to make a decision here on your own without anyone's input and see if this guy would be worth it in your life. From the things you decribed, I would say definitely not as he sounds erratic and unstable and his drinking is definitely an issue which he doesnt acknowledge, a sign of possible immaturity. Good luck.
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 March 2011):
 I would suggest that you learn more about psychopaths, and why they are able to win you over.There are going to be people who support the psychopath, some of them are just like him, and others are just taken in by the charm and manipulation.They aren't up close and personal with him so they haven't been hurt by him, most people with any character and maturity will realize there is something wrong with him eventually.Don't let it get to you, I know it is tough because they often smear your reputation behind your back and blame you for the bad relationship making everything your fault.I don't think you can really fight against it without further emotional and psychological damage from him...so the best thing is to cut all contact and if that means you need some new friends, then so be it. You might find that your life is full of psychopaths once you learn how to spot them, they tend to target kind nurturing women.Your story is just like everyone who has been in your shoes duped by a sociopath...they all do the same things to women....and he will now move on and find another.
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A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Your friends only know one side of him. Do they know he cheated on you? It is a good thing you got out of this relationship. You don't really need to convince your friends, but if they want a reason, tell them you feel he greatly misrepresented himself. He told you many things about himself, which over time, turned out to be false. That, in itself, is reason enough. No one wants to be with someone they cannot trust. Your friends should understand that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): Sounds like the narcissist I dated. They are pretty good at convincing people on the outside they're great, and behind closed doors they become a different person. Mine was hardworking, good looking, intelligent, coached little league soccer, etc., but he was a wolf in sheep's clothing!! Abusive, controlling, manipulative, a cheater, and a liar. And to make things worse, he blamed me for all of it.I got rid of him! and no one could figure out why. I feel sorry for the next girl that gets him.Dont worry about what your friends think, they didn't know him like you did. Be happy you got out!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): I cannot understand what the problem is... So what if your friends think he is god's gift to the human race... they are not just wrong, they are DFW..If they suggest you try to get back together, you simply say, no thank you, I am going to reserve that privilege for YOU! Nobody can ever understand other people's needs and wants, and to try to do so is naive. Tell them they cannot know how bad he is, unless they get involved with him, and you are not going to lower yourself to revealing his true nature...
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A
female
reader, persina1982  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 so what is the question?
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