A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just recently cut off ties I was very in to b/c it was time I moved on. He was great to be around but played with my emotions. The whole thing lost it's thrill for me. I realized I was chasing someone who made himself available to me only to take advantage. I'm ready to move on it's the letting go that's plaguing me. I would always chase him and me at his mercy so to speak. We spent the night together two weeks ago. With no surprise that he hasn't contacted me like he said he would. Normally I would respond to this behavior with either flirty texts or try and call. THIS TIME, very unlike what he's used to, I HAVE NOT tried to contact him at all. I even decided to delete him a day ago. I don't expect him to come around. Eventhough my ego could use some attention from him, I KNOW it's better to not hear from him. All I would love to know, from any person who's been in a similar scenario, IF he at all wonders why I am not chasing him anymore? Does it affect his ego in anyway? Is he surprised that I cut even Facebook contact? Especially after some guy was blowing up my page with flirty comments and my friends leaving curious comments about some hot guy I met out? I know it sounds lame. I know it's a dead issue but I'm still curious. Is he sweating a little?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all to the real responses. There's been no contact from him at this point. Although I'm hurting a little bit but I know it's the best thing. I just hope I forget about him. I put myself back on the dating website where we both met. I noticed that he's checked my profile. This is something I don't understand, it just messes with my head. When we were around one another he'd be giddy, fun, flirty, and we'd talk about real topics. Then he'd disappear. I'd be left so confused and hurt. I have no desire to contact him. When I am looking for answers I just remind myself of his behavior and say to myself regardless it's not worth it. I just don't know when am I going to have that with someone else, someone who doesn't play these disappearing games.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Consider yourself fortunate that he's not stalking you and trying his damnest to make your life a living hell like the creep I finally booted after going back to over and over again until I had simply had enough. In hindsight the depression overe the breakup was easier than his annoying behavior now.
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A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (13 January 2011):
 He may be "wondering" why he hasn't had you chasing him or contacting him, but you did the right thing. If he's just into playing emotional games, he isn't really that concerned about your feelings that much. He may even be somewhat shocked that you actually deleted him as a FB friend first.....if he notices. I don't think he'll be wondering about it much though.
There are some who just love to play the game of having someone chase them for the ego boost. They might not actually want to be in a relationship, but like the attention. It becomes more fun for some people to watch someone jump or squirm everytime they want them to, just by being available only when it's convenient for them.
I wouldn't be surprised if he has read your FB pages though. I wouldn't expect him to react much or post any replies. However, it's possible (depending on the guy) that he may try contacting you again....unfortunately, it's usually to see if they can still get you to jump when they want you to.
Stick with your moving on phase. As hard as it may be, do not try contacting him again, and keep moving forward. It can be easy to be reeled back into the situation again, only to have the same games played.
I will say that I think it's awesome that you recognized what was a bad situation for you and nipped it in the bud first. That was the healthiest thing for you....and must give you a great sense of self satisfaction. You didn't let him play it out until "he" wasn't interested anymore. Using some of your old techniques of flirty texts or calling, as you know, wouldn't have worked anyway. You should applaud yourself for that. Your question, or how you are feeling are definitely not lame....it's hard to change some of those "involuntary" impulses we get used to doing when we are feeling rejected...but I'm glad you were able to resist it!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 January 2011):
I'm sorry to burst that bubble of hope for you, but I doubt he thinks about it at all.
If he was willing to play around with your emotions when you were together and treat you badly, then I suspect that even now he won't care. He'll just move on to the next one.
This is the best thing that you could have done. You strike me as a woman who is low on confidence if you're hoping that he will be sweating, so him not contacting you has now given you the chance to move forward with your life. Focus entirely on yourself, and be selfish for a while. Don't think about this crappy guy. Think about yourself.
This guy is gone, and this is now your chance to move forward.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (13 January 2011):
 He may be, but then again he may be so out of tune he's possibly not even realised yet that you haven't spoken to him for a while, or even spotted that you have deleted him from facebook!!!
Well done for opening your eyes and cutting all contact. If he has realised, then he's doing 1 of 2 things.
1. He's wondering why you've not been in touch like you usually have, and thinking 'maybe she found someone else' and sweating about what you're up to, who you're with and will she text/call again soon.
2. He's not arsed...
I'm in a similar situation, and to be honest i really think that my ex is doing the second thing, but we always cling to the hope that it's actually the first thing, and they'll crack and text/call you, but be strong. He's not treating you how you should be treated, you don't deserve that...
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (13 January 2011):
 I asked my BF who's in your age range and has a little bit of a history on him. He said NO. The guy just wanted easy accessible sex and really outside of this doesn't not wonder what is going on with you. He might notice next time he wants sex with you that you're not around, but chances are he has a couple of women around for that. If he thinks about it at all, he might wonder if you've met another man...but not long enough to pick up the phone, call you and chase you. His ego won't be hurt because he got already what he wanted.Sounds sad doesn't it? I think you've done the right thing 110%. You're a strong lady. Its so much nicer to be in a supportive and loving relationship with a man who wants to be with you. Think of that when you start feeling sad for yourself and want to text/call him. Think about that wonderful guy that is going to come along and want to be with you all the time. Now you're just open, available and will recognize when that love comes along :)
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