A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:For the past few months I find myself crying in bed with my boyfriend. He does not know because I wait until he has fallen asleep. It is only when I am in bed with him, not when I'm alone. We have had no problems in our relationship and he has been a perfect boyfriend. Why is this happening only when I am in bed with him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 you really have to answer this question yourself sweetie. Are you happy when you cry? or sad? the fact that you mention that he's been a perfect boyfriend makes me think it's sad, as you're crying about something in the relationship, or a feeling you have.
Sometimes it can just be that you're happy all day long around him and the bad little things that happen don't register until you're not longer afraid to show your true emotions. And i can imagine that you wait for him to go to sleep so that you can cry, but when my boyfriend sleeps and im awake, i feel so lonely that i can't help but cry. and sometimes people can feel really helpless when left alone with the person they're in a relationship with. helpless in the relationship, not knowing what's going to happen or where you're going to end up and it can get to you. but it doesn't matter what i say or what anybody else says, you just have to try and figure it out for yourself hun. i hope you do x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): I experienced this when I first got married - I felt it was a mistake and I felt incredibly lonely suddenly - the love was not what it should have been. The fact you do this in private says you are hiding your own feelings so you need to be honest with yourself.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 What is missing? He has been perfect boyfriend and there have been no problems.
You don't mention love, not from you or from him.
An ommision or something missing?
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (13 September 2008):
 It makes me wonder if this is something that happens after you have been intimate with your boyfriend and you could be the opposite to sad i.e. so happy you want to burst as you feel so close to him but as he sleeps it makes you realise what you have.
I think maybe you could look into having a herbal sleeping tablet to let yourself switch off at bedtime so that you are allowing your body to relax and recharge.
You are not doing any favours to yourself but not getting your sleep.
Men normally flake out after they have sex as they have had a release and it makes me wonder if you are experiencing the same release during sex or not i.e. orgasm.
Maybe get along to your doctor and explain what is happening as well because you could be deficient in a certain hormone or vitamin and this could be checked easily with a blood test so maybe you need to just relax and enjoy your time with your bf but without knowing what is going through your mind when you are laying next to him it is a hard question to answer completely.
Keep us posted so that we can all help you in some way.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 September 2008):
I have no idea!
It could be that you are just an emotional person and the rush of hormones of having him next to you is making you cry.
Is it a sad crying or a happy crying?
Is it that he snores and stops you from sleeping so you are frustrated?
If you have no reason to cry then it could just be a learned habit. Next time it happens really give yourself a shake and tell yourself to stop it.
Or get up and do some crunches on the floor to get some other less emotional hormones flowing, and make you tired so you sleep too.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (13 September 2008):
 Maybe, that laying next to him, looking at him sleep forces you to stop, think and realise that you're not in love with him? Or that you don't love him? The silence in the room, and him being unaware but there for you to look at makes you HAVE to think.
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