A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone I dont really know where to begin with this i knoow i need some help/advice tho.This will prob sound saft to people Im sure people have been thru so much worse.I am finding it really hard to understand and control my emotions lately Its scary because i can cry for hours The trigger for this is my boyfriend Its not that he is nasty to me Totally the opposite He treats me really well My problem is he works away from home and I miss him so badly it hurts I get to see him about twice a week when he is here and then he goes to work away for 3/4 weeks I know this doesnt seem a lot but it just goes so slowly for me and i feel like its killing me insideI have two really good friends that i can talk about this to but they dont know how to help me as i can get myself into such a a stateThe only thing that calms me down is recieving a text from him I feel myself totally relax and calm down He cant always reply to my texts stragiht away tho and although i know this i can still freak out If im having a good day it doesn't bother me so much if i dont reply but this morning, having a bad day it was 35 mins before he replied and i had already got myself worked upI just dont know what to do I have booked a sesion with a counseller to talk things through but my appts not for another two weeks I am taking Kalm tablets and rescue remedy spray and have even tried smelling lavender which are all ment to helpWhen he is away i feel so alone even tho there are people around me i hang on his texts and pray for him to reply counting the mins Its driving me mad and making me feel mad Its making me unwell to as when im worked up i cant eat no matter how hard i try and i seem to gag a lot even tho there is nothing in my mouthAny advice would be great He is going to work away again soon and i can already feel it all building upThanks x x
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (27 November 2006):
yes, i think it also has to do with the fact that you're not as engaged by your own activities ... therefore when you have too much idle time, he's on your mind.
but, another facet of this that you might want to think about ... because i believe it's creeped up in my relationship is that ... is there any reason that you might distrust your boyfriend about something?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): believe me dear i face the same problem but iam tryin to help myself, u have frnds to discuss ur feelings wth i live all alone and its tough 4 me, i try to engege myself in other things, go 4 a movie, read anything tht suits u.its good to love someone but dont 4get the fact that u have a life of ur own everyone needs their space even ur bf wouldnt want u nagging him all the time, keep smiling n enjoy life keep urself busy take care bye
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): aHHH i feel really bad for you. Have you been together long? It sounds like you love him and you have been used to spending most of your time with him. The thing is you do need to have your own life and do your own things and not spend every moment waiting on his reply, this may sound nasty but is not meant in a bad way - I doubt he is doing the same as he is busy with work. Don't let him think you are hanging on his every word because if he thinks this he will think he has you where he wants you all the time. Find a hobby, go out with friends to get you through times when he is away. Do what you did before you met him. Relationships shouldn't be about somebody depending on someone else for their own happiness, it's all up to you. He treats you well and he contacts you while he is away, that's fine so he does care for you, don't worry yourself about it. Take care xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Adelaide +, writes (16 November 2006):
Firstly my heart goes out to you!
Where can I start? I do feel that you have built your world around this man, and whilst initially there was no harm in this it appears now that it has become unhealthy.
when I say this I mean that you are living for him and him only. you are going to have to read this and read it again.
You need to start socialising with your friends, engage in conversation that does not revolve around him, your health and happiness is suffering as a result of this relationship.
Please beleive me my boyfriend used to work away in a different country for months at a time, it was the most horrendous time of my life.
I did get through it and things did get better, but I had to make the necessary changes... I joined a gym, I swam every morning, before work! I went to college and did a HND in business and finance 2 nights a week! all these things help me return back to my normal self confidence.
You really must find some interests to help you through this, your relationship with him will become stronger you will have much more in common you will have much more to talk about when you do text/write.
Get the address of where he is working and send him letters telling him what you have been upto. I have every confidence that you can get through this you just need to take control of your thoughts and channell them in a slightly different healthy direction. Im sure your bf does not want you be become so reliant upon him as eventually this will suffocate him.
Im sure you were an independant individual before meeting your bf and Im sure you can beome independant again!!
Switch that button of self pity off!! and get out there and enjoy your life to it's full.
If it's any consalation I used to visit my b/f for the weekend I used to book flights... the busier you are in your own time the quicker time seems to go and before you know it he will be back home- He hasn't even gone yet and your getting in a state! enjoy the time you have with him to the max before he has to go.
PS I married my B/f and we have children, he still has to work away from time to time but please beleive me it does become easier.
Good Luck and Best Wishes keep me posted!!
Adelaide
...............................
|
