A
male
age
51-59,
*erry1066
writes:hi everyone,same old story i suppose but here goes,i have two gorgeous children with my partner of five years. very happy till a few months ok, i constantly get accused of having affairs. which im not but her friends keep telling her otherwise.got to grunch time now, dont want to lose any of them but i cant take the accusations any more and im fed up with always defending myself.any ideas how to sort this mess out would be gratefully recieved.many thanksjerry1066
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 You still haven't given any details about why she is accusing you of cheating.
A
male
reader, jerry1066 +, writes (12 May 2008):
jerry1066 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmore accusations last night!!!
its all about trust little word means a lot.
now shes saying if it wasnt for the children she would have left.
shes bored fed up, nice if i had the time to get bored.
now she wants to take control of all the finances to help build trust or to fleece me, apparently i would get pocket money for the week!!!
she cant tell me if any of this will work, i feel my life is in limbo hanging by a thread she can cut at will.
what really hurts to is the fact these people are people i have helped alot over the years with money and diy jobs lifts to airports.
who needs enemys with friends like that!!!!
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (11 May 2008):
How about some details amigo.....You didn't give us much to go on.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (11 May 2008):
 OK lets go back a step or two.
Have you EVER had an affair at all? No matter when but just trying to get a little background information here?
Is your partner insecure in any way at all?
How many of these so called friends does she have and why are they feeding her these lies?
Is it one or several friends who are talking to her?
Have you ever said to her where is your proof of me having an affair?
If your partner is insecure then she obviously feels that if you are a good looking man that other women are attracted to you and if she has gained some weight say after having the children or she has ever suffered from some sort of depression whether this is postnatal or otherwise then she is always going to look at the pot half empty and not half full?
Does your partner work at all or does she spend her days with these meddlers?
Perhaps with a little more info we can try and get to the root of all these accusations.
I can fully understand why you are now so fed up with being accused of something you haven't done and yes that can push someone so far away that finally they decide to hell with it I may as well do what I am being accused of. However, this never actually gives that person pleasure but the accuser then says see I told you he was no good so continue to not give them the satisfaction of that.
Do you think your partner could have anyone else in her life at all? The only reason I ask is that is there any reason why she might be trying to push you away?
Do you have an active sex life at all?
Again I am just trying to see what the underlying problems are before totally saying anything to you without causing you more problems.
I am no expert and can only say what I see but I would like to try and help if I can as my ex did cheat on me and so after going through a long process of counselling maybe some of that may be of use to you. Well it is a damn sight cheaper than having to do it yourself believe me.
Wait to hear from you.
Take care.
Country Woman
P.S. I am not trying to be nosey just helpful if I can.
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