A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship for 9 months. We're recently broken up, and I showed my boyfriend fake pictures, and only JUST showed him my actual self a few days ago. I was terrified to tell him, but he actually took it MUCH better than I thought he would. He was a little upset at what I did, but said he still loved me, and if I 'work with him a little bit' by showing him more pics of my real self and maybe getting a webcam, then we could get back together.We both have strong feelings for eachother, and I (stupidly) ended the relationship because I knew I could never meet him since I sent fake pics. But now, he knows what I really look like, and accepted me, so a relationship is possible again.This is my only problem. I've only showed him shoulders up pics of me. I'm not fat..but curvy. He's a tall, lanky guy, VERY skinny, he only weighs 120 lbs! But, I weigh more than that, and I'm scared to show him pics of my whole body. He's been asking for 'bikini'/full body pics and for me to get a webcam, but I honestly don't have any bikini pics, because I hate my body. I think it's too curvy, and it's my #1 insecurity. Anyway, I do love him, and I realize if he can get over me faking pics, and he does like my face..then can my body really be a cause for him to stop loving me? I'm just scared he'll be unattracted to me, and won't want to tell me because he's too nice.Basically what I'm asking is: 1. How should I go about showing him pics of my full body? Just send him a bunch then say I have to leave quickly? (I don't want to be there when he sees them, hahah) 2. Should I get a webcam if he accepts the pics the way they are? It's not really like I'd be showing my body on there anyway, he'd really only see my face. Thank you.
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female
reader, Katha  +, writes (27 October 2015):
I am in the middle of the same thing ... it started out just for fun and wasn't expecting anything serious on the website ,i sent fake photo's although i am a very attractive person....I am in over my head and i think he likes me and am planning to see him tomorrow at heathrow....I like him too and have enjoyed talking so very much ,do i just tell him or just show up at the airport and tell him? I know what i have done is terribly wrong ,now i have to face the consequences .I have no idea why i let this go so far.If i stop talking to him completly do you think he would eventually give up? Oh my God what was I thinking.
A
male
reader, Jeekee  +, writes (14 April 2010):
Hi, i would say! dont go... But if u are planing 2 go than go let him the truth
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A
female
reader, sweetspicy +, writes (14 April 2010):
 There are many bonuses to having an internet boyfriend such as you cant ever catch an std from him (excludes computer viruses) He can't ever physically hurt you, and you never have to clean up after him. Sign me up lol
I would be careful giving out too much of your personal info over the internet. If you want to use a web cam or sart sending him actual photos make sure he doesnt know your full name off the caller I.D. perhaps, or the where abouts to your home. Also there is a good chance that he will exploit any kind of naked pics that you send him. If you are good with photo shop you can take a picture of your face, nice and evenly paste it onto another girls body and if one day you ever meet you can just say you gained some wieght.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Any guy worth being in a relationship with would accept you for who you are, and he seems to be that kinda guy. It was sorta silly to send fake pics, but whats done is done. I bet he understands your insecurities because he is really skinny and probably gets a lot of grief for that!
Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have, so use it. Even if you have to fake it at first, you will eventually see that he likes the way you look. Don't send the pics and run! Offer to do a pic by pic strip tease for him. In each new pic one article of clothing will be removed. Take turns so you don't feel like the only naked one! If at any point you want to stop just say so.
Making it a sexy game and involving him will be such a turn on! Honestly, guys aren't looking at the small things that we obsess about. Dim the lights or light candles for a more flattering background, and dont forget the sexy undergarments. Most important though: RELAX!
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (14 April 2010):
 You have had a boyfriend you have never met, and after nine months, and a breakup you have only just shown him a picture of your real self?
Can you not see what the actual problem is here?
I am guessing you met this guy on the internet? I hate to tell this to you, and you will probably not like it, but you do not have a relationship with this guy. I know it may seem like you love him, and have a relationship, but you do not know anything about him, what he is like day to day, what he even does when he is not talking to you. How do you know, the picture he sent you was real? He could be 60 years old for all you know?
How have you been dating and in a relationship if you have never met? You have never kissed, held hands, walked along the river or been to the cinema? How is that a relationship? Have you been totally commited to him? Has he been seeing other women? Would you even know if he had? This relationship is not real. It is based on fastasy and lies.
I am tempted to ask who's photo you did show him? If it was of some model type, then I hate to say it, but he may just have been after you for sex, and a bit of titilation. The fact he is now asking for "bikini" shots also suggests he is more concerned about the way you look, than you as a person. He does not love you, because he has never met you. He may love the image that you have portrayed to him, but that is not the real you. Just as you have never met the real him. You have fallen in love with an image, and one that he wants you to see. You have never seen the bits he hides.
I may be old fashioned, but in my mind you cannot have a proper romantic relationship with someone you have never seen, never met, and never experienced life with. To say you have been dating for 9 months and never even seen each other... that just sends warning bells ringing in my head.
Dump him, let him have his online fantasy and go and find a nice REAL guy, in real life who you can talk to, go out with a forge a proper meaningful relationship with.
If you continue this, you are only going to get hurt.
I really hope this all works out for you, and you come out of this a stronger person. Good luck
Tiger x
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Chances are he feels the same way about himself (self conscious) that you do. If you have been talking for 9 months I should think that he is in love with you (the person) not your body or physical appearance. The fact that he "forgave" you for sending fake pics tells me he is interested in maintaining this relationship. To answer your questions directly 1) be careful with the "bikini" pics - this is not what you are about - anything you put out there on the web has to potential to become public domain. 2) Please be careful with the web-cam - the same thing can happen - he may start asking you to "perform" for him on the cam. Don't go there. Ok?
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A
female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (14 April 2010):
 If he can't accept you for who you are he is missing a wonderful. Person, hiding yourself was very foolish, but real love can be seen in the heart, not the face or the body. You're fine just the way you are. Maybe show him pics of you and your friends standing next to each other. Get the webcam if YOU want to. Don't be afraid to be you, have a little more confidence in yourself. If this boy loves you he'll love you for who you are, and I'm sure you're very pretty, I know most of my friends are too hard on themselves when they gain five pounds. Just take it easy, be yourself send him the pics if you want to. Be there if you want to, or rush off if you want to, it's up to you and only you!
Good luck! :)
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